Undergraduate / "The experiences that lead me to my dream(Business)"UC Prompt [5]

Please leave your honest opinion about this essay...any advice would be helpful.:)

UC Essay Prompt #1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Everyone is born as a blank canvas, ready to experience life and blossom into the person that we all wish to be. The countless experiences we have, the people we meet, and the decisions we make all serve as the artist to our self-portrait. When I reflect on how my self portrait has changed over the years, I realize how various opportunities have affected my dreams and aspirations.

Since childhood, I have always had a keen interest in ways in which I could make a difference in my community. Growing up, I always found myself using the Internet as the primary source for being informed about the outside world. However, I never realized that the evolution of technology could open many doors to possible business ventures. When the social networking site, Facebook, evolved from a college dorm room, it became clearer to me how a social networking site could make a profound mark on history. He simply saw a possibility and took advantage of it. With his success with the online community, I knew that my chances of creating a successful business was possible if I was willing to put in the hard work to fulfill my dream. Successful business' that have evolved from determined individuals has inspired me to fulfill my passion of starting up my own company.

During my junior year of high school, I was given the chance to prove to my school board that I qualified to be lead dance commissioner at my school. My passion for running for dance commissioner came from my desire to help fix a problem. When I was asked to brainstorm ideas for a dance theme our Senior year, I took the initiative to step out of my comfort zone and stand apart from possible candidates by creating a detailed presentation. I was willing to put more time and effort into this presentation to prove to the school board that I was capable of creating a solution for school dances. Being able to become fully engaged in the event planning process with help from family and friends allowed me to experience the feeling of being a leader. With this opportunity I was able to discover my passion for the field of business. As a business leader I would be able to fulfill by dream of being apart of the solution to the problems we face as a nation and the world, rather than being part of the problem. How I would be able to influence and make a difference through a small business would allow me to affect lives one step at a time. For every dream or aspiration I have, I will always relish putting time and energy into digging below the surface of a problem and coming up with a unique and effective answer.