Undergraduate / "Exploring San Francisco and meeting people, Solitary Bus 2" -UC Prompt [3]

I feel like it's a little jumpy how it cuts from a descriptive story about the bus, to a more generic discussion about your bus transportation and then back to a story. I feel like it needs to flow more.

Also, I noticed one typo where you said ""admit that it holds great importance" .
But overall, I think it's a great topic choice, and you have good description!

Undergraduate / "The first time I cheated; am I a bad person?" - UC Prompt #2 [6]

That was very good! I like how you admitted to cheating on something and then went on to say how you learned from that experience. Highlighting a flaw is a hard thing to do but it also gives your essay that "real" factor. It also makes it unique, because talking about how you cheated is not something that most people wouldn't write about when trying to get into college. I just re-read it to try and give it some constructive criticism, but I honestly cannot think of anything to change. Then again, I am also just a senior in highschool procrastinating on writing my personal statements, so my opinion isn't too high quality.