Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by 458i
Joined: Nov 29, 2010
Last Post: Nov 30, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Algeria but living in USA

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
458i   
Nov 30, 2010
Undergraduate / The McCormick School of Engineering, why Northwestern, Supplement [2]

Hey I'm an international student (living in U.S. currently) applying to some U.S. universities and would love to get some help and constructive criticism(too long, fix spelling, etc.) on my essay (as well as help others). This is for Northwestern's supplement essay on CommonApp. Thanks in advance!

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

I actually don't know enough about your school. I know that you guys are a prestigious place of study and really this should be reason enough. This may be a rash decision (the last two sentences) on my part but don't put this letter down and let me explain. When a company like Apple introduces a new product (like the ill-fated iPad) the company works very hard to build brand recognition. Much like companies, universities work very hard to become renowned. The only difference is that the way a university gets its name recognition is only if the university is really good.

Northwestern first caught my eye when I heard about a good friend who got accepted into it two years ago. Throughout the years, I heard more and more about this "Northwestern University" and would listen to what people had to say about it. After some research, Northwestern eventually became my priority when it came to the university I wanted to attend because of its challenging academics, numerous extracurricular activities, and the chance to meet people that are similar and different from me. Growing up in Algeria, I always dreamed of going to a good American university because they were viewed as the best schools and when I learned of Northwestern I knew where I could pursue my dream. My interest in engineering naturally led me to Northwestern's engineering undergraduate program because I believe engineering is very crucial and is the foundation of our everyday lives; from the cars we drive, to the buildings we occupy, engineering plays a big role in making sure we live more safely and efficiently. The McCormick School of Engineering intrigues me because it offers a person that enjoys challenging work a chance to learn from esteemed professors. McCormick's involvement in the real world is another reason why I chose Northwestern. McCormick's Center for Energy Efficient Transportation is a calling for me because of my passion in pursuing and expanding green energy. Having the opportunity to be involved in a project or program that can affect millions of people positively will drive me to work harder to achieve it and have it benefit the people around me.
458i   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Wonderful professors; engineering college" - (OSU) Admissions Essay [2]

Growing up, being a Buckeye fan was of second nature to me and was one of our "house-hold religions."

I think it'd be better to re-word this sentence. My version:
In addition to being a Buckeye fan, my academic interest can be found at Ohio State University.

Instead of Going through the labs, the atmosphere of the college hit me. During the tour of the labs, the student who was guiding us introduced our group to a graduate student who was using the facilities to do research for his master's thesis., you should put During the tour of the labs, the student who was guiding us introduced our group to a graduate student who was using the facilities to do research for his master's thesis. Going through the labs, the atmosphere of the college hit me.

I realized that these were not just some petty high school labs, but labs where people did research that could affect numerous amounts of people.

I would really recommend you actually write out Ohio State University instead of just "OSU." The thing that caught my attention the most was the overall view of the community of OSU. It grew. ----> The thing that caught my attention the most was how Ohio State University's community grew.

Meeting these people, listening to their college experiences, I got the feeling that this was the right place to be, right on the banks of the Olentangy River. Stick to first person.

Hope that helped!
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳