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Posts by wwr
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Last Post: Sep 14, 2008
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wwr   
Sep 14, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Essay: Either obstacle to overcome or Other [4]

Heres my essay not done yet but was thinking of shaping this into overcoming an obstacle.

Rabbit 10

I jumped in the pool and began my warm-up set along side my teammates. As we finished the first rep, I heard the coach say, "Will, I need to talk to you for a second". This drew a chorus of "ooh"s from my friends. I hopped out of the pool knowing exactly why the coach was angry with me.

As the youngest child in my family I have been influenced by my 3 older siblings. All had great success in swimming at the national level, and at age 6, I felt the pressure to become a good swimmer.

I joined the team thinking I was similarly skilled at competitive swimming. Four years of daily practice and long swim meets later, I began to realize that this was not the case. My friends had been moved up to the next level, the "Gold" team, while I was still stuck on the "Maroon" team. When I asked the coach what I could do to improve, he told me to just keep working. I made sure to attend every practice I could and even joined the water polo team to improve my swimming my skills. Unfortunately, I did not see any significant improvements in my times. I had been on the "Maroon" team for almost six years, and decided to ask the coach again if I was to be moved up. When he told me that he was sure I would be, I was relieved. I had begun to turn over in my mind how swimming was not fun anymore. However, I figured this new level would spark my interest again.

As the next season drew near, I went on the team website and looked up my team assignment. "Maroon"! I was stuck on the same squad again. Now I really questioned my abilities in swimming but I refused to give up. Maybe all I needed is a new coach. I started swimming at a different club and even though I never missed a practice, I still finished last in race after race. As my dislike for swimming began to grow I understood that I wasn't like my brothers and sisters. I asked myself, "Why am still swimming?" It was time to try something new. I decided to start playing football while still swimming.

It was not long after I started football that I began to dread every practice I had to spend in the water. The monotonous drone of my strokes splashing in the water and the endless repetition of identical laps was unbearable. In contrast football's practices were challenging and interesting. Even the most basic drills in football were more enjoyable than swimming. After I tackled someone in football or blocked them for our running back I had a sense of accomplishment, yet after I finished a lap in swimming, all I did was dread the next one. In swim meets I waited 4 hours to swim for 10 minutes. Football games were much more exciting. Not only was there continuous action but the eleven on the field depended upon each other for success. Take for example the pre-play sequence for my position at center.

From somewhere behind me I hear, "Ace, Rabbit ten" my eyes shift to the armband. The number ten under the rabbit column reveals that the play is "Stretch Lt" I glance forward and call out the defensive scheme and my line's responsibilities "3-3 Stack, Mike 42, Mike 51" i make quick check of the man in front of me. I quickly look back for the quarterback's hand signal and prepare my self. "Set... Hit!" and the play begins.

In swimming it was just I swimming against everyone else, there was little team unity. When the swimming coach confronted me about missing so many practices I told him I was at football. He became upset that I was doing another sport. "Swimmers were supposed to be swimmers year-round" he said. That afternoon i understood that I had to make a choice between the two sports. On one hand I had a sport that all my siblings did and a lot of my friends too, but in the other I had a new sport that I enjoyed and was actually half-way decent at.

So one day instead of snapping goggles on I was snapping a football to the quarterback. Football became my main sport not because my siblings had done it or because I was amazing at it, I play football because I love it. I felt I should play a sport I liked, regardless of my siblings accomplishments. I love football not just because of the action and enjoyment but also because, as a center, I can be a leader on the football field without necessarily being best player out there.

Although I have been able to play football in high school I know now that this will be my last season. Though I will miss the excitement and enjoyment I got from playing, I am sure I will find new sports just like I did after swimming. Who knows, maybe I'll even find something that I love as much as football.
wwr   
Aug 12, 2008
Undergraduate / 'The Youngest' - Question about main common app essay. [5]

Maybe I should choose other or an experience that changed me. Not sure which question to pick.

The Youngest:
I stormed out of the room as angry as a 9-year-old could be. How could this be happening again? My mind raced with thoughts of how to steal the television remote back from my brother, but all my "perfect" plans failed to deal with one thing; he is older than me. Four years above me made him more experienced, smarter, bigger and more respected. Fast-forward seven years, I'm with my brother in a hotel room and yet again I end up deprived of the remote. He no longer has a size advantage but a lifetime of being the youngest (and remote-less television-watching) has conditioned me to give in to my older siblings. Do you have any older siblings? If so, they probably influenced you as much as mine did. Throughout my life my brother and sisters have been role models, bad examples, annoying, unfair, friends, enemies, and even heroes.

My older siblings have helped me from my youngest age. My first memory is that of a cloudy day in England where my brother Joe and my sister Liz were pushing me in a little three-wheeler. Since then they have given me much more than a hand to push my bike. When my parents seemed overbearing I could always turn to Joe and he would give me advice on how to deal with them. A hard geometry homework? No problem, my brother would not only help me by giving me the right answer, but by telling me how he got it. It wasn't just school or parents either, once I got a birthday present from my brother that was a magnifying glass and army men. Some of the guidance I received from my siblings, they gave unknowingly. Often times it was what they did that influenced my own life.

Anyone with older siblings knows that there is a constant fear of being overshadowed, a fear that you will not be as successful as they were. No matter what the situation, I tried to do as well as, if not better than, my brother. This competition, this sibling rivalry, often led me to push harder than I thought I could. It led me to try things that in at any other time I would have avoided. I wanted to live up to my siblings accomplishments and be just as good, if not better than they were. Unfortunately, this desire led to a large amount of pressure. Rewind to freshman year in high school. For most people it is a year of uncertainty but I was even more nervous than most others. My siblings had built up a wall of accomplishments that was seemingly impossible for me to equal. All had amazing grades, APs and honors classes, and even were members of the National Honors Society. I found myself wondering how I was ever going to do everything that they had.

It was around this time when I realized that I didn't' have to follow my siblings. I could do things different from them and still be just as successful. I saw that each of them had varied their path slightly and that I would too. Sure I still had the pressure of high school that ever teenager has but I no longer had to beat my siblings.

Now here I sit entering my senior year in high school with a path all my own. Though I may have differed in my journey through high school I still have learned much from my siblings and I would not be who I am today if it were not for their constant influence on my daily life.

WWR
wwr   
Aug 12, 2008
Undergraduate / 'The Youngest' - Question about main common app essay. [5]

Do you think I could do more than one person who has influenced me, as in my 3 siblings? It would be much easier as they are all older and have been my role models in life.

EDIT: is it okay to ask a question in the intro as a sort of grabber?
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