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Posts by chispi93
Joined: Nov 29, 2010
Last Post: Dec 12, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  

Displayed posts: 8
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chispi93   
Dec 12, 2010
Scholarship / "when I hear about history" - the subjects with which you had difficulty [5]

Up until my sophomore year of high school, history had/font] been a course that I have struggled with.

Once high school arrived, it seemed as if all I got out of
reading pages upon pages about dead heroes and criminals was boredom.

Other than that , I didn't know much about black history.

such as the change in money value

during my junior year of high school

present , and future

history can be slightly be overwhelming when there's much to be researched about an ongoing topic. I can only hope that with enough research and determination, a bright future will follow .

So very true! I have had the same issues with history all of my life, and just by you saying that, has actually opened up my eyes!
chispi93   
Dec 11, 2010
Undergraduate / Yale Essay, Something about you admissions might not get from the rest of application [5]

I bring Tom and Doug together as they're opposites. I never look for violence or physical aggression, I am the one who asks "why can't we be friends?".I m not sure if it goes here... To Doug's amusement I form the base as a parent for the two of them. I am always the first to make a quip about his driving, and I'm the first to shake my head in disbelief forof hisa dirty joke. To Tom I form the base as an anchor, pulling his outside the atmosphere thinking down to earthwhat? This is difficult to understand.

Very interesting, I like the fact that you do let them know more about who you are and who you've chosen to be with for these past years. It truly reflects your loyalty. Good Luck with applications!
chispi93   
Dec 11, 2010
Scholarship / Hispanic Scholarship Fund, HOSA-participation in extra curricular events short answer [4]

Any type of review, feedback and corrections will be greatly appreciated!

Describe your participation in extracurricular activities.
What have you learned from your experience(s)?
(Examples may include: community service, volunteer work, employment, school clubs, sports, family, church, etc.)


Being consecutively in HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America) for 3 years, I've gained awareness of many people who are in need, and most importantly how I can contribute and help them. From going to the Ronald McDonald House to adopting a family for Angel Tree, I've become much more compassionate of those unfortunate ones and much more grateful for what I have. For there is a saying that says that "for it is in giving that we receive", and it is much true in my testimony; I've received life-long friendships and knowledge and awareness I was blinded of. I've received the smiles of gratitude from many who have been going through difficult times in their lives. I've been given the friendship of a 4 year old Leukemia patient that I constantly visit every time she's in town for her chemotherapy. I've gained experience in giving back to the community, something that has grown so strong within, that I feel it's a part of me now. Within my experience in giving and in HOSA, I've also learned leadership skills and its importance. Having been the President of the organization for 2 consecutive years has led me to fully understand the significance of communication and parliamentary procedures that bring structure and organization to an official meeting. Communication is key in anything and everything we do, and to have successful communication skills is something I acquired when having to write the agenda, converse with other officers, and keeping all members informed of the upcoming events of the organization.
chispi93   
Nov 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "mixed-Asian ethnicity...career goal with afterschool enrichment programs" UC #1 [4]

This is really good, the writing structure is great as it flows from one topic to the next. The last sentence is good, I think if you fix it a little bit, it will leave the readers with that WOW factor that will make them remember you.

"I have gained a wonderful social circle within the Oakland community, due to my interest in non-profit work, which has helped to build by contacts for the future, and has also helped to enrich my immediate life with positive interpersonal relationships with people whom have nurtured my new goals and have not judged my dark past as more than a learning experience needed to become the happy (you could use jubilant) motivated and proud person I am today."

Hope this helps.
chispi93   
Nov 30, 2010
Scholarship / "a Pediatrician or a Neonatologist" -Hispanic Scholarship Fund- Short/Long Term Goals [4]

Talk about my academic/career short-term and long-term goals.
How has your Hispanic heritage influenced these goals?

Academically, I want to graduate from my high school with a 4.0 GPA and in the top 10 of the class. Although I currently have a 4.0 GPA and I am #5 in my class, the curriculum of courses I am taking this year are of college-level, there are 805 students in my class and I'm involved in many extra-curricular organization, in which I hold the the position of President in one and Vice-President in another. With so much going around, this is one of my short-term goals as I have to stay focused in the end result of my sacrifices. Another short-term goal is that of competing and advancing in the HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America) EMT category. In this organization, we study outside of school in a subject of interest, mine being Emergency Medical Technician, in which I will take an online quiz and only the top 5 will move on to State competitions in which actual hands-on assessment will be judged as part of competitions. One of my long-term goals is to graduate from college and enter the School of Medicine, from which I will pursue my life career working with children either as a Pediatrician or a Neonatologist. I want to pursue my career field as well as my goals for various reasons. The cliché saying that "I like to help people" is true, but more than that, it is a passion for me; it gives me a sense of satisfaction when I aide others. Specifically, children are my strength; their innocence toward life and their unceasing smiles and happiness gradually attracts me to want to be a part of their well-being. My heritage has been a great impact in my life goals, including those that are academic. Coming from a family with strict morals and values; our economic hardships have not faced us, as what makes us who we are is our desire to succeed and to challenge ourselves to always go the extra mile. Not too long after moving to the United States, I had an asthma attack and my parents frantically looked for a doctor. The first doctor we went to said I was fine, my parents innate instinct thought otherwise; they searched until we found a Hispanic Pediatrician. She took me in the same day and explained to my parents that I was on the verge of going to the ER for my pulse oximetry was 88%, a healthy patient's is above 96% (oxygen in the blood). Knowing that there are many Hispanics out there who struggle with communication, I want to be the doctor they can confide and trust to have a good rapport with, the doctor they can understand and communicate with over their child's needs. I want to be an impactful part of their life by making their hospital care at ease with the minimum of communication barriers. Moreover, I want to represent the Hispanic heritage in a positive way.
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