Any type of review, feedback and corrections will be greatly appreciated!
Describe your participation in extracurricular activities.
What have you learned from your experience(s)?
(Examples may include: community service, volunteer work, employment, school clubs, sports, family, church, etc.)
Being consecutively in HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America) for 3 years, I've gained awareness of many people who are in need, and most importantly how I can contribute and help them. From going to the Ronald McDonald House to adopting a family for Angel Tree, I've become much more compassionate of those unfortunate ones and much more grateful for what I have. For there is a saying that says that "for it is in giving that we receive", and it is much true in my testimony; I've received life-long friendships and knowledge and awareness I was blinded of. I've received the smiles of gratitude from many who have been going through difficult times in their lives. I've been given the friendship of a 4 year old Leukemia patient that I constantly visit every time she's in town for her chemotherapy. I've gained experience in giving back to the community, something that has grown so strong within, that I feel it's a part of me now. Within my experience in giving and in HOSA, I've also learned leadership skills and its importance. Having been the President of the organization for 2 consecutive years has led me to fully understand the significance of communication and parliamentary procedures that bring structure and organization to an official meeting. Communication is key in anything and everything we do, and to have successful communication skills is something I acquired when having to write the agenda, converse with other officers, and keeping all members informed of the upcoming events of the organization.
Health Occupations Students of America (HOSA)
Usually for scholarships ,I've been told it's better justs to write the number in words instead of the symbol. I would just change the 3 to three, 4 to four,and so on and so forth.
I've received the numerous smiles of gratitude from many those who have been going through difficult times in their lives.
Within my experience in giving and in HOSA (From my experience in HOSA of giving to others) Possible substitution You probably can think of a better way to write that,but it sounded slightly odd to me "within my experience in giving and in HOSA".
Other than that, you answered the prompt clearly. I'm not sure if there is any specific word or character cap , but I think you can probably elaborate on some things more. For someone who might not know what HOSA or what you guys do, they might not know the significance of the Ronald McDonald house.
Thank you! I'll elaborate on what HOSA does and about Ronald McDonald.
I think it is aesthetically better to write three instead of 3.
From going to the Ronald McDonald House to adopting a family for Angel Tree, I've become much more compassionate of those unfortunate ones and much more grateful for what I have. (Right here is a place to say what you did with each of those efforts.)
For There is a saying that says, that "For it is in giving that we receive," and it is much very true in my testimony; I've received ...
... friendship of a 4 four year-old ...
...write, converse, and keep:
... write the agenda, converse with other officers, and keep all members...
:-)
