ltp_1984
Dec 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "4.5 out of 10" - MIT: something important that didn't go according to plan [8]
This is my first thread on this website. Could you please give me some ideas in how to correct this essay. Thank you very much.
Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)
------- "4.5 out of 10". I could not believe in my ears. "No way! I did it perfectly! You said my point would be at least 8.5. There must be some mistakes" - I cried to my teacher. Actually, there was a fraud. Some powerful individuals had changed the results of this competition.
-------In grade 7, 8 I focused on studying Math because that was my brother's strength. However, I realized that if I continued to study math I could not be very successful since there was a Math prodigy in my class. I confessed that I could not defeat him; therefore I decided to find my own realm at grade 9. I chose Physics.
-------My yearning to be the best was satisfied as I always got the highest marks in every Physics examinations. I was the best until the end of this deceitful Physics competition of Haiduong city. However, I was a victim of a political issue. Some people was ostensibly punished; I never got my true award.
-------Although I knew that it was not my fault, I started to wonder my motivation for studying Physics. I had a conviction that for one year I had not realized how much I love doing my experiments, how happy I was when I discovered the chromatic dispersion in a rainbow and how excitedly I explained it to my friends. The accident hurt my pride of being the best but it helped me to understand the true incentive of study which is passion, not fame.
This is my first thread on this website. Could you please give me some ideas in how to correct this essay. Thank you very much.
Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)
------- "4.5 out of 10". I could not believe in my ears. "No way! I did it perfectly! You said my point would be at least 8.5. There must be some mistakes" - I cried to my teacher. Actually, there was a fraud. Some powerful individuals had changed the results of this competition.
-------In grade 7, 8 I focused on studying Math because that was my brother's strength. However, I realized that if I continued to study math I could not be very successful since there was a Math prodigy in my class. I confessed that I could not defeat him; therefore I decided to find my own realm at grade 9. I chose Physics.
-------My yearning to be the best was satisfied as I always got the highest marks in every Physics examinations. I was the best until the end of this deceitful Physics competition of Haiduong city. However, I was a victim of a political issue. Some people was ostensibly punished; I never got my true award.
-------Although I knew that it was not my fault, I started to wonder my motivation for studying Physics. I had a conviction that for one year I had not realized how much I love doing my experiments, how happy I was when I discovered the chromatic dispersion in a rainbow and how excitedly I explained it to my friends. The accident hurt my pride of being the best but it helped me to understand the true incentive of study which is passion, not fame.