Posts by pommy
Joined: Dec 12, 2010 |
Last Post: Dec 14, 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 1
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From: United States of America
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Displayed posts: 2
Undergraduate /
The Cape doesn't make the Superhero.: Admissions Essay (250 words) [5]
Cute concept! Try and get rid of all the contractions. (Change I'm to I am, etc...)
I really like your beginning paragraph! But towards the end it might be wrong to say that superman doesn't have goals. (Cause his goal, I think, is to rid the world of evil) But you are quite right, he doesn't exist hehe...
Undergraduate /
"my school's track team" extracurricular activities [2]
I hope this isn't too cookie cutter or short. My actual essay was alot longer, but I suffered severe writers block while writing this haha..
For the past couple years I participated on my school's track team. Freshmen year, when I started, I had no idea what I was getting into. After my first practice I realized it wasn't going to be all fun and games, monkeys and rainbows. I came to the realization of something blaringly obvious, running hurts, a lot. Why run myself to near exhaustion every day and why willingly go to a place where you will experience pain? Out first, I couldn't see the point. But on some runs or during some workouts I would experience a very peculiar state of mind. My body would be under considerable stress yet I learned how to keep my mind calm as a cup of water. I learned how to quash those thoughts of capitulation and just keep running. Through that pain, I managed to learn a lot about myself. I learned that winning was not truly my motivation. (Though I surely didn't complain when I did!) It was to prove to myself that I could stick through with it, even when times were tough.
Thanks in advanced!
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