ZoeMatilda
Dec 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "about a past teacher" - COMMON APP, INFLUENCIAL INDIVIDUAL [3]
I had originally started an essay about my dad, but it seemed so unoriginal so I decided to write about a past teacher instead. I'd love some feedback since the UK system is different I'm not used to writing such personal essays. Do you think it's appropriate?
At the start of the new millennium, following a prestigious job offer to my father, my family and I moved from South London to Cambridge. On the first day at my new school, having arrived late, I walked into the playground to find the entire student body silently participating in a beginning of term tradition, the headmistress' speech. As two hundred and fifty pairs of eyes turned to me, I scanned the crowd for someone to whom I could relate, and saw one girl who shared a vital characteristic; she was the only other student from African heritage. The culture shock experienced over the subsequent two years was incalculable and adapting to my new surroundings proved difficult and highly embarrassing at times. I had never heard of "cutlery", but I had used a knife and fork, and "riding" to me referred to bikes, not horses.
In my third academic year, I met my mathematics teacher, who took an immediate disliking to me. She would stand over my shoulder during each multiplication test, poking me when an answer was wrong. She complained that my braids were against school policy as "the other children couldn't have them" and denied my being ill as I "wasn't even pale". Naively, I thought nothing of her comments, but habitually began to do things that she did not expect of me to confute her prejudicial misconception.
It's not completed but I was then going to go on to say how ever since I've strived to surprise people and have been enspired by her underestimation of me.
I wasn't sure whether this is too personal or will be seen as "playing the race card"
ANY COMMENTS WOULD BE APPRECIATED (except really mean ones) :)
thanks
Z
I had originally started an essay about my dad, but it seemed so unoriginal so I decided to write about a past teacher instead. I'd love some feedback since the UK system is different I'm not used to writing such personal essays. Do you think it's appropriate?
At the start of the new millennium, following a prestigious job offer to my father, my family and I moved from South London to Cambridge. On the first day at my new school, having arrived late, I walked into the playground to find the entire student body silently participating in a beginning of term tradition, the headmistress' speech. As two hundred and fifty pairs of eyes turned to me, I scanned the crowd for someone to whom I could relate, and saw one girl who shared a vital characteristic; she was the only other student from African heritage. The culture shock experienced over the subsequent two years was incalculable and adapting to my new surroundings proved difficult and highly embarrassing at times. I had never heard of "cutlery", but I had used a knife and fork, and "riding" to me referred to bikes, not horses.
In my third academic year, I met my mathematics teacher, who took an immediate disliking to me. She would stand over my shoulder during each multiplication test, poking me when an answer was wrong. She complained that my braids were against school policy as "the other children couldn't have them" and denied my being ill as I "wasn't even pale". Naively, I thought nothing of her comments, but habitually began to do things that she did not expect of me to confute her prejudicial misconception.
It's not completed but I was then going to go on to say how ever since I've strived to surprise people and have been enspired by her underestimation of me.
I wasn't sure whether this is too personal or will be seen as "playing the race card"
ANY COMMENTS WOULD BE APPRECIATED (except really mean ones) :)
thanks
Z
