Undergraduate / "Mission accomplishment " - UT Austin Transfer, Statement of Purpose [4]

Hi, I am simply looking for feedback on a statement of purpose essay I am writing as a transfer for the University of Texas at Austin. Besides assistance with any grammatical errors, I would like to know if it is too much or not enough.

Narrative is as follows:

Mission accomplishment is the mindset I adapted throughout my eight-year obligation to the United States Marine Corps. As a fifth-generation Texan and veteran, I pledge the same standard of aforementioned honor, courage, and commitment to the University of Texas at Austin. At the University of Texas at Austin, I intend to employ my military sophistication and passion for International Relations and Global Studies to the following areas of research and analysis: conflict, international law and organization, international political economy, and foreign policy. I am enlightened to cognize that much of the text utilized by the University of Texas at Austin International Relations and Global Studies program focuses on the foundation of state activities and conduct as well as interaction amongst independent states.

I will hit the ground running to meet all criteria characterized by the College of Liberal Arts' International Relations and Global Studies degree program, and assist in coordinating international forum aspired organizations. Currently, I am in the initial phases of outlining prototypes for two global frameworks in which I am directly active: Model International Organization (MIO) and World Echoes.

Upon graduation from the University of Texas at Austin in the Fall 2012, I will enter the Graduate School's dual degree program in lieu of a Law and Global Policy Studies component, JD/MGPS. In myself I see a future diplomat and public servant of the United States of America that can and will help make the world a better place both foreign and domestically.