notexactly
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "Northwestern stood out of hundreds" - Why Northwestern essay! [4]
I've stayed up way too late writing so I'm too tired to meaningfully critique the overall flow/style, and I know almost nothing about Northwestern. However, I can make a few grammar corrections:
- "I take greatest interest in the Department of Civil and Mechanical Engineering which I was delighted to learn allows undergraduate students to participate in research." Maybe this would be better as two sentences: "...Department of Civil and Mechanical Engineering. I was delighted to learn that it allows..."
- "With a striking position right next to Lake Michigan I was taken aback by the campus's great beauty."
- "I being an international student..." could be changed to: "As an international student, I..."
- "...students from all over the world, who bring their own cultures..."
- "...science fairs ..."
- "I wish to ... attempt to take part in sport activities" Consider removing the word attempt. Saying you want to take part is stronger than saying you want to attempt to take part. Be optimistic!
I've stayed up way too late writing so I'm too tired to meaningfully critique the overall flow/style, and I know almost nothing about Northwestern. However, I can make a few grammar corrections:
- "I take greatest interest in the Department of Civil and Mechanical Engineering which I was delighted to learn allows undergraduate students to participate in research." Maybe this would be better as two sentences: "...Department of Civil and Mechanical Engineering. I was delighted to learn that it allows..."
- "With a striking position right next to Lake Michigan I was taken aback by the campus's great beauty."
- "I being an international student..." could be changed to: "As an international student, I..."
- "...students from all over the world, who bring their own cultures..."
- "...science fairs ..."
- "I wish to ... attempt to take part in sport activities" Consider removing the word attempt. Saying you want to take part is stronger than saying you want to attempt to take part. Be optimistic!