Undergraduate / My mom's lungs were about to get fried, Chemistry class (John Hopkins) [5]

explain your interest in chemistry more. i dont think you need to omit anything here, just add a bit more, like experiments you've done, reports you may have written

Undergraduate / My mom's lungs were about to get fried, Chemistry class (John Hopkins) [5]

i feel as if you can expand on this thought. I want to know more about your interest in chemistry, and what you plan to do with an education in chem. This feels like the beginning of a thought; you can add more. is there a word limit? I do like the inclusion of the anecdote and its connection to you, but...you need more.

Undergraduate / I was Suspended and spent a day in ISS: CommonApp [5]

i really enjoyed your essay, and i believe you should leave the last sentence. I realy dont have much criticism to offer, except:
Regardless of my upstanding past and benign motivations, though , I accepted the punishment.
i don't believe the "though" is really necessary; it makes the sentence seem awkward and wordy. otherwise, excellent writing!

Undergraduate / "Engineering for Energy"-Columbia Engineering Supplement [17]

hello again! the only thing that bothers me is the tense in the last paragraph. for example, "Studying under Professors Billinge and Osgood-fuel cell experts-wouldwill help me develop commercially-viable energy solutions." and the same for all the rest.

Undergraduate / "Engineering for Energy"-Columbia Engineering Supplement [17]

ok i'm trying to find a way to make the organization a bit more cohesive, but i'm not too sure as of now. I actually prefer some of your first essay, but it really is too long for Columbia...

Undergraduate / "Engineering for Energy"-Columbia Engineering Supplement [17]

ok, isn't there a limit for this supplement? I'm worried that it may be too long to fit.

Undergraduate / "Engineering for Energy"-Columbia Engineering Supplement [17]

hmm, i have no harsh criticism to offer; the essay is good, very good. You touched on all topics i would have, good job :)

Undergraduate / "Not die from thinking or learning" - International student [7]

... Which is Inborn and instinctive with me.inborn and instinctive is slightly redundant

..."Knowledge is Wealth". Learningtry another word, perhaps education) keeps my mind open and active to receive all kinds of experience. It is truly a pleasure to me and I will continue on learningto learn the best way I can.

ok, the second sentence bothers me for some reason (those commas...>.<)
otherwise, i feel you can expand on this thought. its good though!

Undergraduate / "I am an oddball." - Stanford to Future Roommate [7]

i have no corrections at all! It's short, sweet, very cute, and not to mention grammatically correct. good essay :)