Undergraduate / Merging onto the Highway, my sign of independence -University of Richmond [5]

Deadline is today, would greatly appreciate help

PROMPT: Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you? MAX: Two pages double spaced

I know this essay is not the greatest, but I could really use some grammar tips and how I can improve the content of the piece.

I had finally received my sign of independence in the mail. The ability to drive without parental supervision was something I had been anticipating since the start of my high school career. As for most teenagers, the driver's license signifies the beginning of truly becoming independent of parental care. Upon the first week of receiving this liberty, I tried utilizing it to the best of my potential. Whenever a simple chore needed to be done, such as dropping off a sibling at practice, buying some groceries, or even getting pizza, I immediately volunteered since I could not overcome the sensation of driving. Being a novice to the driving world, I was anxious to test my new limits. I was given such a chance as my Dad allowed me to drive where compliance to driving laws was non-existent, the highway.

Previously, I had only driven in places in which I was comfortable and familiar with, such as the high school, the hospital where I volunteered, and Wendy's. However, the driving scenario on the highway is nothing like the localities I often drove to. My dad had warned me the dangers of the highway, the necessary alertness and concentration required to avoid any sudden mistakes. Due to this I was surprised when my dad allowed me to drive back home after dropping my brother off at college. I had seen the route several times and knew much of it was traveling straight on the highway, something I could easily accomplish.

Driving closer and closer to the actual highway, I came into realization that there
was an essential part of driving in the highway that seemed to slip my mind; merging onto the highway. In the several books I read to learn how to drive, merging onto the highway was labeled as a difficult task, and thus something that would surely take me out of my comfort zone. I grew more and more nervous as to what I was expected to do. Taking a left turn, I caught my first glimpse of the glaring influx of traffic whizzing by. As I began increasing the speed of the car, the rate of my heart beating was increasing as well. I realized the impending dangers to come if any mistake was executed on my part. Practicing everything I read, I worked systematically. Turning on my left hand signal, checking my side view mirror, and then jolting my head back to check the blind spots, I quickly swerved into the highway. When the realization came to me that I had successfully completed the task at large, a sense of relief overwhelmed me.

I returned home that day with more than a self sense of accomplishment, but a new perspective on my future. Leaving my comfort zone in this experience has surely impacted to how I choose my actions today. I see that leaving my security blanket is the only way in which I can grow as an individual. Constantly challenging myself and experiencing new situations is the only way I can reach my true potential. It is because of this reasoning as to why I decided to take the hardest courses available at my high school, obtain leadership positions in my extracurricular activities, and push myself to the best of my ability. If I had never left the common road to merge onto the highway, the car would no longer travel and proceed to my destination. Thus, if I never leave my comfort zone, I would never proceed to the future.

Undergraduate / "Coming out of Comfort Zone"-University of Richmond Supplement [10]

This is my essay for University of Richmond's Supplement, I already had tremendous help on it, but I just want some final opinions, the prompt is: Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you? Two pages double space is the limit for this prompt

I plan on sending in the application within the next hour or two, so a quick response would be great!

When my dad first traveled to the United States on a student visa, he entered with a few preconceptions. He had the preconceived notion that Black and Hispanic people were parasitic members of society undeserving of respect. Unfortunately, American movies often perpetuated these negative stereotypes by portraying Blacks and Hispanics in a negative light, which further validated his views. Although I am also considered a "minority", these movies and his daily experiences reaffirmed his belief that Asians were the model minority-ones who overcome difficulties through hard work rather than redistributive social intervention. Consequently, my dad often advised me not to play with other minorities as a child.

I heeded my dad's words with little questioning. After all, his concern for my well being was always in my best interest, and provided me with a security blanket. Yet as it is with all kids, his warnings fell to the back of my mind as I experienced the sensation of being at the playground. The playground was the usual rendezvous for all the kids in the neighborhood. It became my weekend getaway.

One day, a couple of older kids asked me to join their football game. Having previously encountered these kids, I happily obliged and joined in on their unfamiliar game. They explained the foreign rules and objectives to me, and even made the game contact free to ensure that I would have fun. All differences were put aside as we struggled to get the ball to the end zone. Not only were my new found friends competitive, they also had good sportsmanship. When a teammate failed to score a touchdown, plays were created for the offensive team and to boost everyone's morale.

Play by play passed. I became aware of the diversity of my new playmates; there were African Americans, Hispanics, Whites, and Asians. As I came to this realization, my dad's warning resurfaced. Prior to that day, I had never purposely went against my dad's words. But playing with those kids made me realize that an innocent game of football is colorblind. Not once was I treated differently even though I did not look like them.

I returned home with more than just grass stain on my clothes, but a new perspective on life. My dad had constantly professed to me the dangers of associating with the wrong people. But that day, for the first time in my life, I realized that he was, and could be, in the wrong. Buying into grossly misconstrued racializations, my dad had labeled entire races as people I needed to avoid. I heeded to his counseling, without ever questioning his rationale, in an attempt to create a sense of security for myself. It took a child's innocent game, instead of advice from a parent, for me to realize that I cannot always take a person's words for verbatim. At some point in life, I need to step outside of my comfort zone, open new doors, and see things from my own point of view in order to grow as an individual.