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Posts by orange133
Joined: Jan 1, 2011
Last Post: Jan 2, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Nepal

Displayed posts: 4
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orange133   
Jan 2, 2011
Undergraduate / Grinnell College's moniker replacement [3]

I am sorry to reply at the eleventh hour, but your essay seriously needs some treatment. The prompt is asking you to justify a new moniker that you think suits Grinnell. You don't need to describe why the nickname "pioneer" is justifiable, because it is! You need to give some new nickname to replace the old moniker and describe why the new nickname suits the college. Hope you find this helpful.
orange133   
Jan 2, 2011
Undergraduate / "Improving the Mind"-- Why U of Chicago? Supplement [4]

I agree with amberisdead. The use of past tense seems so awkward there.

I think it's better if you focus on one special aspect of your personality that fits well with any special thing about UChicago. And many times you seem to squeeze the words you want into the essay. The admission officers are veterans in English language and its not a good idea to let them track our tricks.

The word ventured doesn't quite fit well in the second sentence.

Ever since my visit to the University of Chicago my mind has returned to my experience in the Regenstein.

What do you mean to say here? Do you mean that your mind was captivated by the UChicago's Library? If so try rephrasing the sentence. You may write

My mind was captivated by UChicago after I had visited it.

Some Grammatical mistakes:

Lights flickered on around me as I ventured further into the Regenstein library.
I was surrounded by uncountable stores of knowledge
My town's modest public library was no comparison forto the 4.5 million volumes held in the Regenstein.

In the Core students connect ideas across disciplines and can find unexpected solutions for problems.

The University of Chicago is all about improving the mind so as to improve the world , and I can think of no better way to spend the next four years. (Try rephrasing the highlighted part. The repetition of the word "improve" doesn't sound quite good.
orange133   
Jan 2, 2011
Undergraduate / "Why Reed; The power of literature" Essay. [4]

Unlike other LACs, Reed has a mandatory Humanities course that everyone (including the science the ones with majors) have to take. So, I wanted to show that besides rigorous science course, I am ready for the Humanities course as well.

@draconlord: Did you mean that I need to mention some facts about Reed that match my interests( the majors there, the clubs ...)? And regarding the humanities at Reed, I have heard it puts so much pressure on the candidates that some people drop Reed in the middle. Here I meant to say that I am prepared to take the challenges that Reed's rigorous Humanities course puts on me, because I have an interest in it. Please suggest how I can make them understand this.

And one more query, does my answer address the question ?? I have focussed more on myself in this essay.
orange133   
Jan 1, 2011
Undergraduate / "Why Reed; The power of literature" Essay. [4]

Please suggest me on this "Why Reed" essay.

"Why Reed?" essay. Reed is a unique and exciting college experience. Discuss the reasons that you believe Reed would be an appropriate place to continue your education.

A Complete "Me"


"Well, good literature? Twist a bunch of simple sentence into hazy lines, replace the words with pompous ones from thesaurus, give it a weird topic. And there you have, a masterpiece!!" I would reply if somebody asked me about English literature (or any literature).

Having gone through 12 years of schooling entirely focused in science and math curriculum, I did not know the "l" of literature. I grew up with texts on detailed human anatomy from 6th Grade, intense Physical concepts from 8th Grade and by the time I had passed my high school, I was already acquainted with Calculus based Physics (Yes, they taught us to integrate equations to derive all the formulae we had to read!). We had Biology that vigorously prepared us for medical course, Chemistry that virtually demanded us to learn each derivative of an organic compound family and so on. We did have Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Eudora Welty and many good writers in our English Curriculum, but the rigorous science course gave us little time for the English texts. This did prepare us for science. It did make us diligent, somewhat intelligent and highly passionate about education (or should I say Class Rank), but by the time I graduated from the High School, I didn't know what Reading for Pleasure was (I did knew a lot about reading for exams though!). I must admit, I didn't like reading (Leave the exceptions- Physics and Math).

But at the end of the 12 years, I was blown away with what SAT demanded-
"Read classics, improve vocabulary, read English OPEDs, and so on."
I felt like a Kindergartener who had just started his English classes. I would frown over some OPED article going back and forth between the lines, turn the dictionary after every line and end up in frustration.

As time passed, I began to realize that studying literature was not like studying science. I could read a scientific text and understand it the same way the writer had understood it while writing it some decades ago. But the way one could comprehend a literary text was something out of the computational ability of human. I cannot but be stunned by the charm of any literary text that unfolds its intricate meanings every time I re-read it. So, I could not help myself going through the same lines all day and each time discovering a new aspect. And I did not realize that I was already enjoying literature.

Sometimes, I was filled with terror while the fiend created by Frankenstein smothered innocent people to death. At other times, I found myself surrounded by orcs with Frodo Baggins in the Mines of Morea (Lord of the Rings). At times when inequality in the society depressed me, I would begin thinking like James McBride in "The Color of Water".

The power of literature astounds me. The overwhelming emotion that literature arouses in me is incomparable to the sigh of relief I get when I finish reading the Science texts in my curriculum. Now, I can feel while I'm reading. I don't want to limit myself to a small well when I have a whole ocean around me. And I don't know why this small unseen college on the other side of globe has a special place in my heart, why its name only invokes in my heart a homely warmth. Maybe, it's because I have been unknowingly following what Reed intends us to through its combination of rigorous science course and the Humanities. Like I had been doing, Reed intends us to develop in ourselves a passion for both science and non-science subjects. I may understand the deepest mysteries of Physics but it is worthless if I have no one to share it with. I may make fortune through science but that is useless if I cannot touch the feelings of people. In my long arduous journey to the imaginative world of science, Humanities is something that will keep me sane, make me understand the human values and appreciate the relationships that I have made. In a way Humanities will complete me. And Reed is the only college that I find helps me do it.
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