Writing Feedback / Conscience upholds a string of moral values in life; SAT practice essay [5]

Hi moderator,
I need your help in reviewing my practice essay for SAT since I will soon be taking my SAT. Your kind feedback is greatly appreciated.

Question: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power?Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience or observations.

Answer:-
Conscience is a precursor that determines one's acts. The question if conscience is a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power is always left unanswered. Many people are still dubious if conscience is deemed as a more powerful motivator in addition to the increasing global issues threatening world peace.

The cruelty and ruthlessness in Adolf Hitler, who came to power in Germany in 1933, epitomizes the dominance of power over conscience. Adolf Hitler, the infamous killer, is known to have executed approximately six million Jews, almost entirely effacing the Jewish population. Hitler had the Nazis to imprison the Jews, perform mass murders and enact Hitler's prominent murder method, which involved burning the Jews' bodies in crematoriums. The merciless deeds of Hitler have proven that the hunger for power and fame would sacrifice innocent lives. Conscience would no longer be justifiable if cupidity is to take place.

On the contrary, Mother Teresa's benevolence through her missionary work has portrayed the true meaning of conscience. It is her conscience that strongly motivated her to sacrifice her own welfare for a charitable cause that involved diminishing poverty. In fact, her dedication in eradicating indigence has earned her a Nobel Prize award for World Peace. Mother Teresa was once asked on how to create world peace and she answered, "Go home and love your family." Her remarkable response has opened the eyes of every individual worldwide and encouraged great conscience in everyone.

Conscience upholds a string of moral values in life. Without conscience, the world would be in havoc as everyone would be easily influenced by hatred and jealousy. Furthermore, in the contemporary world, where fame, money and power are regarded as the desires of life, strong conscience is definitely important to preclude people from these deceptive temptations.

Therefore, for conscience to be a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power, one cannot afford to show indifference in current global issues and historical pasts because the past and the present remind us of the imminent danger that would befall us if we lose our conscience. Literally, negligience of fame, power or money is sometimes a virtue that is worth possessing.