Undergraduate / My Personal Essay for UT - My Life in One Page, Basically [5]

Sorry, I kind of made this thread in the wrong section. Here's my second attempt =/

Um, this is the prompt:

Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

...and this is my essay:

I think I was six years old when I first noticed it. There were a bunch of scantily clothed women parading on the television, but my eyes were glued on the shirtless men dancing with them. Embarrassed, I covered my eyes and everyone in my family thought it was the cutest thing ever. I was doing it to keep from thinking about the men, though. Even then, I knew that wasn't normal.

I managed to suppress any attraction to either sex for three more years; instead I lived life like any other kid, caught up in the wonders and fascination of childhood. It wasn't until I was about nine years old, in the fourth grade, that I began having that problem again. That year, I met the one person who's influenced my life more than anyone else I have ever met. But he was just a kid, as well. His name was Vangelis; he was my best friend and I found him fascinating. He was witty, creative, funny, a rebel and gay.

I don't remember how he told me that he was gay, or if he even told me at all, but for some reason, even at that age I was accepting of it. In fact, since the rest of my schoolmates had yet to experience any physical attraction to the opposite sex, homosexuality seemed like the norm. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, I think that year that I spent with him was the turning point of my life - it established my sexuality, and thus, established the kind of life I would live for the next decade.

After the fourth grade I severed ties with Vangelis. In middle school, my frustration over not being like everyone else drove me to bully my former best friend. He wasn't one to accept the torment, however, and he would frequently call me out on my own sexuality. I hated him in middle school, and even until recently. There were times when I would wallow in self-pity over my sexual orientation, question why I wasn't normal. All those feelings, for some reason always led me to hate him, and his name alone would make my blood boil. I blamed him for me being gay, as a way to deny the fact that that's who I am. It wasn't my fault I'd tell myself, I want to like girls, but he did this to me.

In middle school and some of high school I managed to repress my true self and act how society expected me to. I had a couple of girlfriends, but the relationships never did feel right and they never lasted more than a few months. Intimacy, with those few girls was non-existent. Then, in junior year, I began to have feelings for one of my best friends. It never got beyond that though, he was straight, got a girlfriend and I was left trying to deny that I ever liked him. The last year of high school I began finally admitting to myself that I am indeed gay. It's the first step that I've taken, seeing as the person who's reading the essay will be the first I ever really admit it to.

When I read up on gay rights activism and things of that nature, I do sympathize with those fighting for the right to marry, right to serve openly in the military, right to adopt children etc. I mean, I would like to be married one day, but what I really want is for society to change. General acceptance of homosexuality or even, general apathy of one's sexual orientation is what I hope for. Making sexual orientation such a big issue is what's keeping me and I'm sure thousands of other young men and women in the closet. I don't want to feel like I'm marked, for being a homosexual. Sure, I'm gay, and I'm beginning to accept that, but I'm so much more than just that. I hope that someday, I can tell someone I'm gay, and it will matter as much to them as me being right-handed does.

Feedback would definitely be appreciated. Thanks! \m/