bigice
Jan 22, 2011
Undergraduate / "My commitment to seek knowledge and service" - HELP ON MY SPELMAN ESSAY [4]
Man, what a great read.
I learned so much about the world you come from, what has kept you from falling prey to your ascribed title, and your determination!
However, although spelmen isn't as academically competitive as other schools it still wants some respect. Your topic is very strong and honest, it's just that it takes forever to read b/c of all the grammar/spelling/overall mistakes you make.
And honestly speaking, spelmen is a historically black school hence, your story isn't exactly original to Spelmen. They get thousands of the exact same story. So telling it in such a straight forward way doesn't do anything to separate you from the masses. I suggest taking the time to recreate this message in a more creative and powerful manor to demonstrate your skill as a writer/thinker. But if you don't feel like investing more energy into thinking about this (very serious essay) then just edit it more, repost and i'll find a way to help you strengthen whatever you post.
I'll check back for your reply 8PM.
Note:
Don't make the mistake of not investing your soul into your college applications. College is the key that opens the world up. So take the time to make sure you get in!
Man, what a great read.
I learned so much about the world you come from, what has kept you from falling prey to your ascribed title, and your determination!
However, although spelmen isn't as academically competitive as other schools it still wants some respect. Your topic is very strong and honest, it's just that it takes forever to read b/c of all the grammar/spelling/overall mistakes you make.
And honestly speaking, spelmen is a historically black school hence, your story isn't exactly original to Spelmen. They get thousands of the exact same story. So telling it in such a straight forward way doesn't do anything to separate you from the masses. I suggest taking the time to recreate this message in a more creative and powerful manor to demonstrate your skill as a writer/thinker. But if you don't feel like investing more energy into thinking about this (very serious essay) then just edit it more, repost and i'll find a way to help you strengthen whatever you post.
I'll check back for your reply 8PM.
Note:
Don't make the mistake of not investing your soul into your college applications. College is the key that opens the world up. So take the time to make sure you get in!
