Undergraduate / Greece: opinion you had to defend, in conflict with the beliefs of the majority [5]

Very good ideas and expression. You only had a few tiny errors, mostly comma-related, which I've corrected in red below.

Being born and bred in Greece has, without a doubt, many advantages. The food is both tasteful and healthy, the weather is great, and no matter where you live in Greece, the sea is always nearby. The people are warm-hearted, with a natural sense of humor, and are friendly even to strangers. However , when it comes to management and government finances, the Greeks have made some huge mistakes in the past. Because of this, I have had to defend myself and my people many times over the past few years, which is not a mean feat.

Greece has been in the center of discussions between economists worldwide. The enormous debt, the disorganized public sector and the appearance of one political scandal after another, all make the Greeks look like the freeloaders of the European Union. Suddenly the Internet was overflowing with offensive articles, who called us thieves and frauds, unfit to inherit the Greek cultural heritage. I tried to answer to every article, explaining how the majority of my people are honest, hard-working men and women, how labeling every citizen of Greece a fraud is racial discrimination.

A few months later, on September of 2010, I traveled to the United Kingdom, as I had been admitted to the Imperial College of London. My goal was to find a scholarship or part-time job that could cover my living expenses, and to study there for four years in a Masters in Engineering course. However, on arriving in College, the first thing anyone would ask me was related to the economical depression and my country's debt. I would tell them that not everything they hear in the news is true and that my people are doing their best to stabilize our economy. Some would go as far as to say that a debt this high can never be paid off in full and that Greece would be bankrupt by the end of the year. But I knew my parents, my friends and every other Greek citizen worked very hard to improve the situation back home. Thousands of people were working on the minimum wage. Many others lost their jobs. Small businesses closed every day. I defended these people and their struggles with all my strength.

Other problems appeared as well during my stay in the UK. No matter how thoroughly I searched, I couldn't find a single scholarship or a job. Financial aid was only offered to UK, Scotland and Wales citizens, and by the time I got to London, most of the places for part-time jobs had already been filled.

So I thought of taking out a student loan in order to pay for my first year's expenses. I turned to a private loans company that was stationed close to college. I was rendered speechless when the student loans executive informed me that my loan application has been rejected. The reason was that neither I nor any other Greek citizen was trustworthy at that time, due to my country's enormous debt. He suggested, however, that I apply for a consumer loan, with a higher interest rate. I thanked him politely and left his office.

At that time it was obvious to me that I couldn't stay in the UK any longer. Not only was I offended by the prejudice of these people, I could not afford to stay in London anymore. I took the first plane back home. I was going to study at the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, the university with probably the best engineering course in Greece. I want to believe that this experience was good for me. At first I was vastly frustrated, but I managed to turn my frustration to a strong resolve. Now I wish to succeed in whatever I do in my life and make all Greek people proud again.

Writing Feedback / "Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged" ESSAY [5]

Very good ideas, but you had a few grammar and wording errors. Below is your essay, but with a few ideas inputed.

Computers are an essential component of modern life. They not only play integral roles in workplaces around the world, but also connect users to the Internet. In a modern workplace, a worker is at a severe disadvantage if he does not possess the skills to use a computer.

To begin with, the computers are in great demand; almost 107 million computers were sold last year in the Asia-Pacific region. Bus stations, restaurants, groceries, zoos, even alpine huts: they all have various forms of computer. Computerizing has become such a vital part of everyone's lives that for one to refuse to learn how to use a computer is impossible.

Furthermore, E-tax, social networks, up-to-date news, and live broadcast are all parts of our social interactions. To access those medias, one has to have a computer. Many traditional processes are being replaced (or updated) by the computer. For example, buying a plane ticket, changing your primary address, paying bills, or even applying for an examination, are now done most always on the computer.

When applying for a job in an office, one ought to have basic computer skills. Secretaries are required to have the knowledge to handle harder tasks, such as using a printer or various software applications.

In conclusion, one who does not possess basic skills for using computer is disadvantaged. No matter the occurrence, with technology nowadays, sooner or later an occasion will appear that will require some knowledge of computers.

Writing Feedback / 'all men are equal before the law' - fixed punishments for each type of crime? [10]

Not much, mostly stuff like this.

Writing Feedback / 'all men are equal before the law' - fixed punishments for each type of crime? [10]

Hello Ilaria,
I'm actually from Saskatchewan, Canada.

Writing Feedback / 'all men are equal before the law' - fixed punishments for each type of crime? [10]

Your writing has really good content. However, you do have a few grammatical errors and ambiguous phrases. Some ideas are below. The errors are colour-coded, with the error in the same colour font as the explanation and possible replacement.

Generally it is claimed that punishments should be specific for every single crime. Instead, other people think that during the decision of the punishment the benches should take into account when someone committed a crime. I believe that both of these views are correct.

- The position of "Instead" implies that it is the "other people" who are instead. "However, some" works better.
- The end of the sentence is a touch ambiguous. It could be replaced with simply, "the context of the crime must be taken into account."

Firstly, we have to remember that all men are equal before the law and someone, whoever he is, have to judge for his felony.
The sentences are different depending on the crimes. For example, a man who burgled an house goes to jail for three years. Obviously, the judgment will be different for a man who killed someone and his imprisonment will be longer than the first . Because the law have to guarantee our safety and that this man do not commit this crime again.

- This part of the sentence should be replaced with, "and that someone, whoever he is, has to judge every felony." This is to correct grammar and reduce ambiguity.

- "An" should be "a", to say, "a house".
- "Than the first" implies the meaning, "than the first imprisonment of the man who killed someone". It should be replaced with, "than that of the first man".

- This part of the sentence should be replaced with, "It is the law's obligation to guarantee our safety; thus the law must make sure that this man does".

On the other hand, people argue that benches should consider the motivation when a crime is committed.
For, example, imagining a women who is attacked . She get aggressor with blunt instrument during the scuffle. The assailant die on site.
The benches should take into account the circumstances of this crime. The woman is not a criminal and her intention in that moment was to defend herself.

- There should be no comma after "For". "Imagining" should be simply, "imagine". "Women" is plural, so in this case you should use, "woman". "Who is attacked" is better as "who is being attacked".

- This part of the sentence is better as, "She hits the aggressor with a blunt".
- "Die", should be, "dies", to match with the singular "assailant".