"In fact, this obstacle aspired me to work harder." Should be "inspired" here.
"...being the soul source of income." Should be "sole" here.
Overall nice essay. In your last paragraph you say that bettering yourself through education (ideally through FSU) is a way out of the poverty that you have faced. Then you say that you want to be accepted to FSU because you always have had a desire for learning. These two sentences seem to conflict a bit. Could you perhaps insert elements of learning earlier on in your essay in order to make it flow a bit smoother?
Question about structure of personal statement for admittance into UW
This may be a no-brainer to some, but I'm not sure how I should structure this personal statement essay. There seems to be an awful lot more points that the applicant is required to touch upon compared to the normal personal statements (and by normal, I mean the ones I've found through Googling). Should I just try to address the individual sections one by one?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
✖
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:
