Scholarship / (major in criminology) asking to write about educational goals [3]

Im not a very good writer so i really need the help.
can someone help me and check to see if i answered the question correct? or if im even close?
It has been a long term goal of mine to major in criminology. Since I was young, I have wanted to make a difference in the lives of others, and knowing that such opportunity is out there for me fills me with joy and pride. I'd love to attain a career that allows me to share and express my passion for justice. I have researched schools that have the courses that I need and desire in order to attain my goal of majoring in criminology. There were various colleges that have the courses I needed, but I decided to apply online to Cerritos College. I'm excited and very committed to participate in everything that will help further my career. I know that I will push myself to the best of my ability to further my educational goals and succeed in my career, I would be really proud to be part of the justice force.