Scholarship / "joy in coming across an old book" - Fellowship Essay, academic achievements [2]

Hi,

I have to write a one-page essay (500 words maximum) describing how your academic achievements and professional experience deem you qualified to receive a fellowship.
Please go thru below text and advice of any changes/suggestions
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Have you ever found joy in coming across an old book and the urge to read it over again, in spite of having read it several times earlier? Well the same is the case with me. I relate my interest in the field of Software Technology to the same. I do have the background knowledge and the technical experience, but my desire for discovery and insatiable thirst for knowledge is the essence of pursuing the Masters of Science - Software Engineering (MS-SE) course.

I was a favorite among my teachers and fellow classmates referred me as teacher's pet. It is not just studies that I have been interested in. I participated in various dance competitions, elocution contests, general knowledge quizzes, and sports events. However, academic excellence gave me the opportunity to take up and excel in the courses that interested me most.

On completing my undergraduate studies, I started working for Zensar. My teacher at school once told me, "If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade." At Zensar, I was given an opportunity to travel to London (UK) initially for a short duration and then again for long term with an expanded set of responsibilities and I made the most of this opportunity. Clients from the Marks and Spencer (M&S) project at Zensar appreciated my business acumen, eye for details, team mentoring and specialist technical skills along with high integrity and quick problem solving abilities.

At Zensar, I worked on a few projects in different roles, which helped me better understand the processes and phases right from the Request for Proposal (RFP), requirements gathering, architecture designing, software development, testing, debugging, deployment to production systems, quality assurance to maintenance. Though the systems were stable, I always strived to find out ways to further improve the performance of existing applications. I was also involved in various cross training programs with colleagues to share our knowledge.

However, no one is perfect and I have had my fair share of mistakes. My managers pointed out my grey areas which needed improvement. It was then that I gradually developed my written communication skills.

If I had to choose between academic excellence and practical knowledge, I would say during the initial stages academic excellence is very important and as your gain more work experience, practical knowledge is most useful. This dawned upon me during my years of service at Zensar.

I strongly feel that I will be able to relate my work experiences to my academic and professional goals during the academic course at Carnegie Mellon University. Receiving a fellowship will motivate me further to push myself to excel. Receiving a fellowship is a big thing for me as it would be my moral responsibility to not let CMU down but to make you proud of offering me the fellowship.

Graduate / Activities and Achievements - MS in Software Engineering [4]

Hi,

I have to write a one page document on activities and achievements. Could you please go through the below text and advice of corrections.

Thanks,
neha

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Activities and Achievements

Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. Achieving goals brings immense satisfaction and peace of mind, but when your work is appreciated - it adds a feather to the cap.

I have always performed above expectations in any task that I take up. I attribute all that I have achieved today to sheer hard work, but with a helping hand from Lady Luck.

I received merit certificates and cash prizes for standing first in Std X, amongst all schools in county. I also won a National Level Certificate for the same. I was invited by a few organizations and felicitated for my achievement, where I was awarded mementos as their token of appreciation.

Moving on, my excellent grades made it easy for me to enroll in one of the best junior colleges - Fergusson College. Fergusson College is one of India's most prestigious education institutions, consistently ranked among the Top 10 colleges of the country.

I completed my XII standard with good grades and enrolled in the Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (VIT), Pune, for my undergraduate studies in Information Technology.

Always strive for excellence is something I believe in and this helped me achieve a distinction (Above 68%) in my engineering. In the last semester of the final year, job fairs are held in the colleges, wherein the IT companies visit campus, interview and select studies to work for them. I prepared well for my interview and after a few unsuccessful attempts, cracked it. I was selected to work for Zensar Technologies Ltd. Thus, I had a job in hand before I completed my undergraduate degree.

I worked with Zensar for five years and these five years have been amongst the best. After having been trained on UNIX, Java, Mainframes,.Net, I was allocated as a Management Trainee to a new project - Loyalty and Marketing for the client Marks and Spencer PLC. My seniors at the workplace realized my potential, selected me amongst other senior members and sent me to London, UK, within 6 months of my joining - an opportunity given to few. I was sent to learn a niche technology Model204(M204).

After having learnt the nitty-gritty, I came back to Pune. On my return, I was given an additional responsibility of training the fellow team members on M204. The teaching (in turn learning) experience helped me in mastering M204. In the first year of my service, I was awarded the "Young Star of the Year" award at Zensar for my exceptional talent in learning the niche technology.

Fellow Zensarians started referring me by the name "The Best M204 resource". I travelled again to London(UK), but this time for a longer duration. During this new onsite stint, I represented my offshore team at the client site. I was the point of contact with the business users, during which I faced numerous business critical challenges which meant late and out of office working hours. The hard work payed off, and I was appreciated for my dedication and enthusiasm. On completing one and a half year, I returned back to Pune.

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. In addition to having maintained a good academic record, I participated in several extra-curricular activities like organizing social and cultural events and participating in them too.

I'm thankful to Zensar and my team for believing in me, recognizing my potential and offering me the best opportunities, which are otherwise offered to a selected few.

The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.