Undergraduate / "the MSE program" - I was waitlisted for UC Davis [3]

This is the information I have - Only the initial application and waitlist statement may be considered in making admission decisions. The waitlist statement must be 200 words. Briefly tell us why you feel UC Davis is the right place for you to continue your education. Here is what I was thinking:

I am honored and excited to be considered as a potential candidate for admission! UC Davis is my first choice of colleges to attend this fall and I am currently taking four AP classes in preparation. My strong subjects are math, physics and chemistry. I reviewed the sample cirriculum for the UCDavis MSE program that is posted on your website and it is a perfect fit.

I have visited the UC Davis campus several times and I love the feel of it. The college town atmosphere is great and I like the way the community and University support each other. Campus life is important to me. I grew up in a close knit community and I have always been involved with my high school and other extracurricular activities. I know I will feel right at home at UCD.

I became interested in materials science after I had been playing roller hockey for a while. I see the relationships between materials and their function; and the need to develop materials with greater strength and durability, while creating less weight. I see how this relationship affects us in everyday life. My plans are to help develop products that create easier, cheaper, and less wasteful and more energy efficient ways to get around. I know I can do this and I'm ready to get started.

It is actually 223 words. I may need to cut a few....