Writing Feedback / IELTS (task 2) A year break for traveling or work before joining university. [10]

I'll be highly obliged if somebody can correct my essay and possibly provide feedback. For this essay, what band will I get?

Topic- "In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this."

In recent years, taking a year break after completing high school is a common phenomena among youngsters. Some advocate young adults should be restricted from taking this attempt. However, many believe it is a very good scope for young minds to ground their feet. This essay will look at disadvantage and advantage for youngsters to work or travel for a year in between graduating high school and starting university studies.

Its often argued that a year gap will not benefit youngster. Opponents, think that young generation are more likely to have inadequate education because many find it hard to restart with academic qualification. A large percent of this group either drops out from university or struggles to scope up with the standards set by the university, were as some finds the work more interesting which gives them an opportunity to earn. Refuters, also believe that the time period between completing high school and joining university is more than sufficient for young people to discover the world or to understand functioning of corporate world.

Nevertheless, a year break broadens the horizon for young adults as they become more confident, knowledgeable, and productive. It also helps them to identity the right program at the university which eventually opens a gateway to new job opportunities, that was unknown to us earlier. Where as, many of them get a chances to save money font only for the university tuition fee but also to bear living expense during their stay at university.

Although, there are undoubtably some problems with the idea of youngsters taking a year break yet, I strongly feel, this approach is right. It gives young mind enough time to defuse confusion and think clear about future and giving us a better civilization generation.