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Posts by ralph01
Joined: Apr 11, 2011
Last Post: May 23, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Guatemala

Displayed posts: 6
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ralph01   
May 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / Should violent video games be banned? [5]

Thank you Kevin for you comments. I need to learn how to get my essays out sooner, because my teacher gave me the same recommendations as you did. Although I still made a pretty high grad. I just wish I would have posted my essay sooner to get good feed back like you gave me !
ralph01   
May 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / Should violent video games be banned? [5]

Thank you mithsal !! I could not think of a good way to take care of that run on sentence, your idea makes more since. I should make a decent grad on it now!
ralph01   
May 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / Should violent video games be banned? [5]

** A five paragraph essay; if violent video games should be banned or not. **

Video games are out there, so one way or another; children will get a hold of them. If video games are banned they will be sold in an underground market. This could add on to the safety of today's youth.

The video game industry has been one of the few to be able to escape the economic crises. Keeping the video games alive helps the economy, since taxes are paid when we buy them. They create lots of jobs in this tough economic situation. There has all ready been lots of time and work put into video games. Why not put them to good use?

Studies have shown that when video games are put into hospitals patience tend to be concentrating more on the video game than their pain. This helps patients get a relief from pain, when pain can be at its most horrible state. They also can help with problem solving. Giving you more options on how to get out of the most difficult situations you can imagine. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you tried a daring stunt? A video game can help you get a better idea, so you do not hurt yourself trying.

The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) helps the community by rating video games, although this has never been proven to work efficiently. Just like ratings for cable television and movie rentals, kids find away to see them. Parents should be able to judge when determining if their kid can tell from, real life or virtual reality.

Do video games cause more violence at home or in the streets because of its content? If video games were banned, would kids be bored and cause more violence? Kids should be learning about video games in their schools and the effects that they can have on them. This would help parents and society out, since video games are here to stay.
ralph01   
May 12, 2011
Book Reports / "A Tale for Adults"- Comp II Tone Essay (based on A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings) [3]

"A Tale for Adults"

A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings is a well written story about a world that behaves unearthly, and supernatural. The central idea is about reminiscent of a fairytale due to the authors' ability to establish tone through the use of characters, setting, and symbolism. To ensure the reader's remain open to the stories central idea. The author decides that a total omniscient narrator should reveal information about the characters. The author uses this style of narration to deliver all of the needed information to the reader for a better understanding on how the character is significant to the story. Tone presented in the characters feelings, thoughts and emotions help the author to control all elements that influences the reader's attitude toward the story, therefore, no one tone is dominant.

Our narrator is consistently poetic while establishing the mood of the story. A metaphor is used to describe sorrow and fear of the unknown when the narrator tells us, "The world has been sad since Tuesday." Followed by a simile, "[The] sea and sky were a single ash-gray thing and the sands of the beach, which on March nights glimmered like powdered light, had become a stew of mud and rotten shellfish" (Marquez). This is a pressing matter for Pelayo and his wife Elisenda. They believe the smell has brought a fever to their infant child. Pelayo symbolizes the traditional husband who loves his family and works hard to kill and clean crab to make the home a better place. The mood is eerie, but the couple is not affected by the weather. It appears that the setting is dark and gray , foreshadowing the discovery of the old man with wings faced down in the courtyard. The unearthly feeling of the dark skies and the supernatural appearance of the man with wings is what illustrates the fictional element through tone which is often used as a device in fairy tales .

A dominant element in the story is the authors' use of syntax to deliver a set of comments that lead to a conclusion. Onlookers arrived to make suggestions about the angels future, "The simplest among them thought that he should be named mayor of the world," which is symbolic for the naive nature of the visitors thoughts. Next, "Others of sterner mind felt that he should be promoted to the rank of five-star general in order to win all wars. And the last comment was that, "Some visionaries hoped that he could be put to stud in order to implant on earth a race of winged wise men who could take charge of the universe" (Marquez) . This use of syntax is essential to understanding the villages' unconditional acceptance of the strange creature. The authors' use of diction implies the feeling that the priest has towards the angel. He describes him arriving around seven o'clock to, "...take a close look at the pitiful man who looked like a decrepit hen among fascinated chickens." The institution of religion is introduced in the form of a character Father Gonzaga. He is a pompous priest with preconceived doubts of the angel. He symbolizes the bureaucracy of church and religion. When he arrives we are told, "The parish priest had his first suspicion of an impostor when he saw that he did not understand the language of God or know how to greet His ministers" (Marquez). This is significant because the village idolizes the being, and the priest cautions that this is the devils tactic for distracting the unwary with carnival acts in a brief sermon.

Speaking of carnivals, Elisenda initiated a five cent admission fee to compensate for the market place trash brought along by all the travelers coming to see the angel. The use of triple comments leading to a conclusion is again illustrated in the syntax of the narrators mentions of sick travelers coming to see the angel, the tone at the beginning is sympathetic "The most unfortunate invalids on earth in search of health..." followed by a humorous tone, "a poor woman who since childhood had been counting her heartbeats and had run out of numbers; a Portuguese man who couldn't sleep because the noise of the stars disturbed him; a sleep-walker who got up at night to undo the things he had done while awake" (Marquez). Pelayo and his wife have prospered from their celestial discovery even though his only supernatural virtue was patients, they are grateful. The angel received no benefit from the fortune which the couple is growing tired of managing. In one weeks time they had already stuffed their rooms with money. Soon the main attraction will switch to a girl who had been changed into a spider for having disobeyed her parents.

After all that Pelayo and Elisenda's experience with the angel, we get the sense that they are ready to go back to a normal life. One day while cutting onions, Elisenda went to the window and caught the angel in his first attempts at flight. "[She] let out a sigh of relief, for herself and for him, when she watched him pass over the last houses, holding himself up in some way with the risky flapping of a senile vulture" (Marquez). The tale stimulates discussions about religion and fiction, b eing that they are closely related. T he author presents them through a serious, yet humorous tones through the characters and settings taken place in the story. Overall Marquez held true to the characteristics of fiction and fairytale.

**every thing in red are my suggestions. keep up the good work. **
ralph01   
Apr 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / How can we control traffic jams? Flying cars? [3]

**I was told to make a three paragraph essay based on my opinion.**

How can we control traffic jams in today's over populated cities? Sometimes it can take much longer than expected to your destination due to long lines caused by traffic jams. It seems like each year there are more cars on the street, because of over populating cities and more teenagers learning hot to drive. By taking into account today's technology and research on traffic, traffic problems are becoming a thing of the past.

There are so many ways to prevent and understand how traffic accumulates. Today's technology is filled with ways to help one get to his destination with ease. Widgets are helpful to download maps onto your computer to get a better understanding on how traffic is in your area. They can also be installed onto your G.P.S if you have one in your car. Software developers drive into traffic jams just like us. They have developed lots of widgets, gadgets and browser add-ons. This has helped drivers move along faster for many years and keeps on improving through time. Carpooling has become more advanced in some countries over the years. It is no longer your friends or coworkers any more. In Germany and even in India they have developed webpages that let you look for a ride in exchange for paying for half the gas it costs to get to your destination. You can even offer a ride to someone to make your trip cost less.

Controlling traffic is a very deep matter and will take many years to fix. When I see most inventions in movies come to reality one way or another, I think I'll see flying cars come to town to make our transportation much faster!
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