Scholarship /
The British Council to Help in my Studies? - IELTS scholarship [15]
Here is my editing version with several alternations.
First paragraph:The importance of IELTS and background information of my study objective.Many universities are requiring the English proficiency level which makes every student difficult to enroll in studying further education. However, thanks for International English language testing system (IELTS), many students can take this exam to indicate their language proficiency which is mostly recognized by many colleges and universities. In order to obtain higher level of education, I also took IELTS test to demonstrate my caliber of english and ability of understanding another language. Fortunately, I have achieved the requirement of IELTS band score and got accepted to study bachelor of business with major field of accountancy. Due to my appreciation for the importance of accountancy in the global business, my long-term education objective is to use accounting knowledge to create a optimistic alternation in the current economic crisis.
Second paragraph:My biography and achievement I've attained in the pastSince I was little, my passion for mathematics and logistics motivated me to sit an examination of math which was held by a well-known mathematic organization. I was surprised that I got the high distinction mark which was equal with the third prize. At this moment, I was aware of my potential ability which is only appropriate with numbers and statistics. I found out accounting to be conceptually interesting and quickly discover my proclivity to financial business when I took the first course at accounting center. I am very passionate about the methodology of measuring assets and liabilities category on the Balance Sheet and the changes in owner's equity reflecting a company's financial situation. For this reason, I cherish a hope that I can enhance my knowledge about accounting and desire accounting to be my future occupation.
2nd paragraph- your history and reason for studying abroad
( This scholarship acquire for domestic students to study in the home country. Therefore, studying aboard is not my goal).
Third and fouth paragraph:How British Council IELTS scholarship can help me to achieve my education objectives.Additionally, I am currently pursuing a Bachelor degree with concentration on accounting stream at RMIT University to acquire broaden range of mandatory accounting perception. I also intend to participate in several certificate program classes to become an official member of professional accounting association. Therefore, I am willing to attend in professional training; however, the unaffordable fee of bachelor program and accounting training has precluded me from achieving my objectives. For this reason, the British Council IELTS scholarship will absolutely strengthen my opportunities to undertake international accounting course and certification program which I cannot defray because of my financial burden.
The scholarship can assist me further my competent training which I set target to receive the recognition from professional accounting institutions. In addition, this scholarship bases on the purpose of helping students to experience the international education and participate in expert study. Similarly, I always dream of analyzing accounting information and financial knowledge in the international studying environment which in turn accomplish my understanding and broaden my experience. For this reason, this scholarship can facilitate my learning by paying a part of tuition fee which is an indispensable condition to study at university and accounting training program. On the whole, the scholarship provides promising opportunities for me to undertake better learning environment which can advance my knowledge of accountancy. Therefore, I certainly believe that the British Council IELTS scholarship can make a remarkable contribution to my continuing education in the near future.
The final paragraph:A thank to judges for concerning my application.To put in nutshell, I certainly believe that selecting British Council scholarship can make a remarkable contribution to my continuing education in the near future. For this reason, I truly appreciate your consideration about my application and I am looking forward to receiving a goodwill responding.
Do you see any grammatical mistakes and unconnecting stucture? Feel free to delete some unnecessary part and make some changes:)
