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Posts by ndgranberry
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Last Post: Aug 14, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

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ndgranberry   
Aug 14, 2011
Undergraduate / "Battle against Subversion" - Common App Essay [3]

I had to be the "change that [I] wanted to see in world."

Just sounds a little more like you would say it if you were speaking. Just to keep it from being "stuffy".

Might expand abit on your "Two summers later, I was in India fulfilling my mission, and after three summers of aggressive donation campaigns, carwashes, and yard sales, we had sent over twenty-five thousand dollars overseas to help build schools, shelters, and whole new lives for the orphans in India. So what now?" Seems more important than 2 sentences worth.

I also will be applying to Duke! Just posted engineering essay! Check it out please.
ndgranberry   
Aug 14, 2011
Undergraduate / Biomedical engineering - Why engineering? Why Duke? [2]

When I view the world, I see things that I believe could be better. I'm forced to ask, "Why does this work this way? Why can't you just do this? Wouldn't it fix everything if you just moved this over here? What is the best way to make this work?" Unfortunately these are usually complex questions with even more complex answers. I think the field of biomedical engineering is primed for huge leaps and bounds in our understanding and incredible innovations will soon follow. I want to be a part of this.

My specific intrigue in the biomedical field is prosthetics. Replacing human organs and limbs is an exciting and gratifying endeavor. Specifically I want to go into the government research on prosthetics to help improve the lives of wounded veterans. Again you are presented with many questions, my favorite being: "How do you get the mind and the machine to communicate effectively?" This is such an intriguing question to me; a question that I hope to spend my college career researching. If this problem is solved tomorrow, no problem, anytime there is an advance in a field it opens up hundreds of new questions about how to make the invention more efficient, compact, reliable, and user friendly. That is why I want to be a biomedical engineer. There will never be an end to the contributions you can make to help people.

There aren't many who would question that Duke is the best biomedical engineering program in the South. To me, that had little relevance in choosing the Pratt School of Engineering. Duke gives me the opportunity, resources, and -most importantly- the mentorship to make progress in answering the questions that I have. Few others have undergraduate research opportunities that are as well orchestrated and are as encouraged as Duke University. Also very important to me is the opportunity to double major in biomedical engineering along with mechanical or electrical engineering so as to focus the multidisciplinary aspect of biomedical engineering into a specific engineering while still getting the background of all disciplines. These reasons along with the atmosphere and the hundreds of opportunities to get involved around campus are why I chose Duke as my first choice school.

Through sentences out, add whatever, make synonym changes, do what you think sounds best! I have plenty of time to make changes before this is due. Thanks!
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