kiana
Aug 16, 2011
Undergraduate / Grandmothers - the angels of the earth. (B-CU admissions essay) [5]
These sentences don't sound right to me!!!!
wrong:She retired from the Cardiology Department at Cleveland Clinic Hospital in 1993 and returned back to the Department of Corrections in 1993-2003.
my suggestion:use either went back or return, I don't think return back makes sense.
wrong: Shehas always told me she loves me, even if I do forget to call her every once in a while.
my suggestion: She always tells me she loves me, even if I do forget to call her every once in a while
wrong:From stopping things that were not exactly positive for me to trying out for things that have allowed be to become a better person.
my suggestion:From stopping things that were not exactly positive for me to trying out for things that have allowed me to become a better person.
wrong:The most important way she has been there for me is by constantly praying for me. my suggestion: It doesn't sound right to me, but I don't know how to make it right
wrong:No matter what happens to her, me, or our family she has continued to lift my name in prayer and I am extremely grateful for her.
my suggestion:No matter what happens to her, me, or our family, she has continued to lift my name in prayer and I am extremely grateful for her.
note:my english is not that good, may be I'm wrong!anyway,good luck:D
These sentences don't sound right to me!!!!
wrong:She retired from the Cardiology Department at Cleveland Clinic Hospital in 1993 and returned back to the Department of Corrections in 1993-2003.
my suggestion:use either went back or return, I don't think return back makes sense.
wrong: Shehas always told me she loves me, even if I do forget to call her every once in a while.
my suggestion: She always tells me she loves me, even if I do forget to call her every once in a while
wrong:From stopping things that were not exactly positive for me to trying out for things that have allowed be to become a better person.
my suggestion:From stopping things that were not exactly positive for me to trying out for things that have allowed me to become a better person.
wrong:The most important way she has been there for me is by constantly praying for me. my suggestion: It doesn't sound right to me, but I don't know how to make it right
wrong:No matter what happens to her, me, or our family she has continued to lift my name in prayer and I am extremely grateful for her.
my suggestion:No matter what happens to her, me, or our family, she has continued to lift my name in prayer and I am extremely grateful for her.
note:my english is not that good, may be I'm wrong!anyway,good luck:D