Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Oovi
Joined: Aug 16, 2011
Last Post: Aug 20, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: Australia

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Oovi   
Aug 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / The importance of natural resources (forests, animals and clean water) [16]

In that case I would just write about natural resources in general. So i guess it will be ok if I don't mention forest in that case. I am preparing for IELTS myself so I am just sharing my knowledge with you. This website contains some excellent tips : ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/ielts-writing-task-2/

and please give me your opinions about my essay on this website. Thanks and good luck :-)
Oovi   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / The importance of natural resources (forests, animals and clean water) [16]

Hi Shakhrukh

You have not discussed anything about protecting Forest. You can add a line or two in the first paragraph regarding importance of forest.
It is important to discuss each and every points mentioned in the topic. You loose points if your essay does not cover the whole topic.

Besides that your essay is well organized and vocabulary is good as well. You should get 6.5 - 7
Oovi   
Aug 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / The possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? [4]

This is an IELTS essay. Please suggest some corrections and alternative sentence structure which can help me to score Band 7 or higher. Thank you.

What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society?
Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge.


Longevity has its own advantages and disadvantages. There are some social, financial and personal effects to be considered on both individual and social level.

Positive effects of living long as an individual are getting a chance to see the family tree grow. Being able to participate in family events like weddings of grandchildren, baby showers etc. There are also some disadvantages, such as health problems, dependency etc. It becomes harder when one has no family members to take care of him. Looking from a society's perspective, it is a blessing to have elderly people in the society. The gift of their wisdom and life experiences is valuable. If practised wisely one can achieve great success. The only disadvantage can be financial burden on government and families. Government might fail to provide for senior citizen if majority of population lives long.

Now having an elderly person in house can solve many of the family's issues. A senior can look after children while parents are away for work, this can save a good amount of money. Moreover, in today's competitive world, where men suffer from stress, anxiety and depression; emotional support from parents and grandparents can be really helpful. On the other side, a person living long may have to suffer from some disease which could be a torture to the person as well as family. Sometimes treatments are so expensive that it creates financial problems in family.

To conclude, living long has its own advantages and disadvantages on both individual and a society.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳