Undergraduate / 'Jasmine aromas' A Chinese Style PS about people who has influence on you [3]

I just stopped by to look for inspiration of my supplement essay, and then I saw this essay from you!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha....I'm sure you'll know who I am when you see my account name = =

In general I think this essay is coolly written. The introduction and conclusion are pretty eye-catching and tie close to the Jasmine. But I'm still a little bit confused about the main idea of this essay as I read along: what exactly are you trying to demonstrate? For example you mention both "study hard" and "respect". It's easy to understand that you learn to respect others from your mistake to break the perfume, and also easy to understand that you learn that you should "study hard" from her inability to earn money for her children, but how these two can connect? And in the end you move back the main idea to "study hard" and dream, but the "respect" part just doesn't match. I think you can just make this "respect" part clearer and the whole will be just fine.

Hope that my advice will help.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha...

Undergraduate / "Dehumanized" challenged me. UVA Supplement [8]

I think this essay is a bit off topic. It asks you about the work of literature and how it challenges you, but instead of focusing on the challenging part, you seem to emphasize more about the school. It's not a why essay, it's about the challenge part. I'm not intended to be mean but hope that my advice will be helpful.