Posts by capocrypha

capocrypha

Sep 18, 2011

Undergraduate / Colors of my Community: How it has shaped me (UC Prompt #1) [2]

You need to talk way more about yourself, that is what they are looking for

Write about a specific experience, put the reader in your shoes

Remember the Readers are going to read tons of applications make yours shine

capocrypha

Sep 18, 2011

Undergraduate / 'Born to perform' - UMBC 300 word essay: what is your something? [2]

Home is where the heart is and my heart forever belongs to the limelight. I have a deep passion to perform. thats really good

over all a really good essay
You might want to change or rephrase the first sentence sounds a little awkward.

capocrypha

Sep 14, 2011

Undergraduate / My Love for Community Service + The Beauty of the Universe -Questbridge App [2]

LAST part of application, any feedback would be great

BIOGRAPHY
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit) *

Since both my parents worked full time when I was a child, I would stay hours after school before they could pick me up. I would always see my friends being picked up by their parents and it made sad to think that my parents would never do that. However during this time I would always do my homework and watch the bigger kids at my school play sports. My mom instilled in me early on to always do my homework first and never slack off. Another challenge I faced was reading. I struggled to read and had a very difficult time learning to write. My mother was the one person in my life who never gave up on me. She would read with me everyday weather it took me minutes or an hour to read one book. Even with her help I still struggled to read. There were many time when I just thought to give up on reading but my mom always encouraged me and said that i could do it. With the help of a tutor, I learned to read and loved it. While I went through rough times as a child , I knew that there will always be a brighter tomorrow to look forward too.

Till this day I have not figured out a way to thank my parents for the risk and challenges they faced to give me a better life. I feel that my education is my gift to them. All of their hard work raising me and all the challenges we faced together was all for the sake that I would get a better life through an education. I hope to be in the first generation in my family to not only attend college but to graduate and succeed in life because of it My family took unmeasurable risks to get me to where I am today. My parents immigrated from Mexico when they were just teenagers. Both my parents never had a promising life there. They were not able to educate themselves due to family obligations and were forced into labor. My dad immigrated to the U.S. because he saw no future for a family in Mexico. My mom left Mexico pregnant to help support my grandmother after the death of my grandfather. Both took risk in the hopes of giving me a better life.

My parents dedication to my education is what really made me who I am. As a child, my mom would invest countless hours after working all day toward me. She would sit down and teach me as a child. I can still remember her telling me to rewrite words that I wrote not because they were wrong but because she demanded perfection. If she saw the slightest deviation of a straight line or sloppy writing she would erase it all and I would redo it. She never gave up on me even if I messed up at times. Her persistence and sacrifice in me really developed my work ethic. This led me to a high standard of work. Having straight As always seemed to be my standard even though it was not everyone else's.

The unexpected birth of my little brother led to be a true challenge in my life. His birth signalized a prominent change in my lifestyle. When my little brother was a toddler, my mom was hired for an evening job. Her evening schedule required me to take care of my sibling for a little over 2 hours a day right while she worked because we couldn't afford a sitter. This meant that I would have to change my daily schedule. I stopped doing sports and withdrew from after school leisure. Not only was I left with the task of taking care of him I was also left with the task of tutoring him. Everyday I would dedicate my time to take care and tutor my brother. Spending a lot of time with my brother bonded us together. I realized through him that my family is the most important thing to me. My familys love and stability made me who I am today, and I wish to give him that same experience of a loving family.

Since both my parents worked full time when I was a child, I would stay hours after school before they could pick me up. I would always see my friends being picked up by their parents and it made sad to think that my parents would never do that. However during this time I would always do my homework and watch the bigger kids at my school play sports. My mom instilled in me early on to always do my homework first and never slack off. Another challenge I faced was reading. I struggled to read and had a very difficult time learning to write. My mother was the one person in my life who never gave up on me. She would read with me everyday weather it took me minutes or an hour to read one book. Even with her help I still struggled to read. There were many time when I just thought to give up on reading but my mom always encouraged me and said that i could do it. With the help of a tutor, I learned to read and loved it. While I went through rough times as a child , I knew that there will always be a brighter tomorrow to look forward too.

Till this day I have not figured out a way to thank my parents for the risk and challenges they faced to give me a better life. I feel that my education is my gift to them. All of their hard work raising me and all the challenges we faced together was all for the sake that I would get a better life through an education. I hope to be in the first generation in my family to not only attend college but to graduate and succeed in life because of it

capocrypha

Sep 14, 2011

Undergraduate / My Love for Community Service + The Beauty of the Universe -Questbridge App [2]

*()* THE FIRST ESSAY NEEDS TO BE A BIT LONGER AND THE SECOND ONE NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE SHORTER , APPRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK*()*
Describe an experience that you have had or a concept you have learned about that intellectually excites you. When answering this question, you may want to consider some of the following questions: Why does this topic excite you? How does it impact the way you or others experience the world? What questions do you continue to ponder about it? (500 word limit)

Ever since I can remember, I have always looked up to the night sky with amazement and awe. I always pondered over the size of the sky and whether it ended or not. The universe was always a topic that excited but it wasn't until middle school that I discovered the topic of astronomy and physics.

The first time I saw Carl Sagan's show The Cosmos, I was drawn in to the matter of the universe. The part I vividly remember was when Sagan did a comparison of the size of earth to the size of other stars and planets in our universe. My mind was blown way by the fact that the size of our world is minuscule compared to other objects. A new door opened for me that day and a hurricane of information was hitting me.

The universe to me is the most interesting system in existence. How could anyone not be baffled by how and why the universe works the way it does? The intricacies and parts that make up the universe are amazing. Every part of our universe has some purpose and all of those parts are designed to serve some grand purpose. Having learned some of these functions and structures, I cannot help but ponder what it says about the universe as a whole. If so much detail was put into the universe up to the very quark, I have to believe that humans would be given an equally important function in our universe.

There will always be new and unanswerable questions in the field of astronomy. That is why studying it is so amazing, we can barely understand earth let alone the vastness of the cosmos. For all we know we could have 100 billion other universes surrounding our universe. Imagine everything we know of fitting into the size of a pea, now imagine that pea of sand being dropped in the middle of the ocean with trillions of other peas, it is beyond us to imagine that scale.

Even though the Universe is the most mysterious, amazingly bizarre and inconceivably vast thing that no one has any idea where it came from, how it came to be, why it came to be, or whether its part of something even bigger, I believe that it is our duty as conscious human to search its vastness for the answers.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (500 word limit)

I figured out who they were and I immediately checked to see what colors I was wearing. If I could have done one thing different that day. If I used different clothing,if I used my bicycle, if I waited to go with my brother; it could have been avoided. But the truth was that I had to face them. They asked me, " Why are you wearing that color? You realize where you are right?" I was in a state of shock. What do I say? Should I run? Should I scream for help? My mind was in a state of shock "Is this really happening to me?". The adrenaline was rushing through my veins I could feel my fight or flight instinct in action. Fearing for the worst I just cringed up in the ground not knowing whether I would be attacked by them. Luckily they laughed at my actions and just left me alone. Feeling such a sense of relief, I ran home. I hoped that no one would ever experience that panic and fear I felt during that time

Realizing I never wanted to experience that again I knew my education was my escape; it was my freedom from this fear and a sense of unsafeness. With my determination and motivation from my family, I was able to maintain a high GPA throughout my years in Lincoln. Even though I excelled academically, I felt that that wasn't enough and I wasn't using my fullest potential.

My neighborhood is filled with poverty and hunger. It really makes me sad to hear some of the stories my friends go through just to get some food. I decided to involve myself in a food bank and a homeless shelter. I found the Sacred Heart Center and decided the volunteer there.

One of the first few people to walk into the Clothes Closet when i first volunteered was a mother and her son. She was able to pick out free clothes from the racks that we had in the room. Her son came to me asking me if we had any sweaters that he could have that weren't blue.I notice he was bruised up on his arms. When I asked him what happened he told me that some gangster attacked him for wearing a blue sweater. Even though we were only supposed to give out one sweater per person, I felt that it was my duty to give him more as he truly needed them. I didn't want anyone to be in the same situation as I was when I was threatened by gangsters. It was a great feeling knowing that kid didn't have to walk around in his neighborhood again with the fear of being approached by gangsters again.There are many people who go to Sacred Heart just to get something to eat or to have some warm clothes for cold nights. This is my motivation, knowing that I helped someone not be hungry or give someone some clothes so they can be warm at night. Volunteering at the Sacred Heart Food Bank really made me appreciate my home and the food I eat. I feel great reward in helping those who don't have food or even a roof to live under. As a result of this change I was able to contribute to my community. I was able to help those who couldn't help themselves. These experiences have taught me the importance of giving back to the community and has solidified compassion towards community service.