Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by polaris
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Last Post: Oct 19, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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polaris   
Oct 18, 2011
Undergraduate / 'It is not easy to be an engineer' - Common App Essay [3]

OK it's still being worked on and this is just a rough draft, but here you go. My English teacher wants me to focus on a change in my life, so here is what I have. I wanted to talk about how flying has changed me and this is what I've come up with. In the last paragraph I want to say how I'd like to be an engineer, but I'm not really sure how to put it into words, so keep that in mind as the last paragraph isn't really complete. Any help is appreciated, thanks. Here it is:

As the wheels lifted off the tarmac, I knew my life would never be the same. The first time I piloted a private plane was six years ago at a Boy Scout "fly in". Each scout took a turn going up in a plane and flying it for a few minutes, and I was incredibly excited for my turn. I have been in and around planes my whole life, my dad is a pilot and my mom was a flight attendant, so I seized any opportunity to take the controls for myself. Ever since that day I have loved flying, every aspect of it; the skill required, the patience, hard work, and a passion for the air. Flying has changed the way I look at things, shaped what I want to do in life, and is an integral part of who I am today.

Before I found my interest in flying I had little idea of where I wanted to go in the future, but flying has given me a goal to achieve and place in life I want to arrive at someday. I understand what I want to do in life; to be around planes, to work with them, and to fly them. This passion for flying has forced me to set personal goals and create a better work ethic to achieve those very goals. I have taken advantage of opportunities that I wouldn't normally because I have a clear goal in mind. Flying gave me a focus to become what I want to be, an independent mindset, and an ultimate goal to achieve in life which has forever changed me.

Flying is an experience, not as much today as it was years back, but it still remains a modern marvel of technological advancement that evokes wonder and appreciation. A plane can give you much more freedom than a car, as a car travels only in two dimensions while a plane travels in three. This freedom, an entire sky to explore, captured my interest as soon as I lifted off the ground for the first time. When I soar above the clouds I feel free, enjoying the limitless sky. I want to be a part of that experience, not just a bystander. I know that this focus in me, the knowledge of where I want to go in life, and the passion I have for flying has changed me for the better. It has given me confidence in school, in social interactions, and in life.

It is not easy to be an engineer, but nothing worth while is easy, and I learn a lot from a challenge. The world I grew up in, the opportunities I have received, and the focus they have given me has had a profound effect on who I am. Had I not stepped into that Cessna, I would be a very different person right now, nowhere near as confident, independent, or focused.
polaris   
Oct 18, 2011
Undergraduate / 'to train at the Saudi Investment Bank' - elaborate on one of your activities [3]

You need to work out some grammar issues, but other than that it is pretty good. The sentence: "the staff was friendly and kind, it was easy to built a good relationship with all the employs. because the working environment itself was unique." could use some work. Capitalize the first "t" and omit the period after employs and that should read: EMPLOYEES not employs. "Built" should be "BUILD" and you can get rid of "itself". Hope that helps, good luck
polaris   
Oct 18, 2011
Undergraduate / 'if I was surrounded by educational toys...' - Common App on Literary Work [3]

This sounds really good! I would focus more on how the poem changed you in more than one way though. I like how you described the setting of how it came into your life, but you want to really flush out the idea that this poem had a profound change on you. Hope that helps :)
polaris   
Oct 11, 2011
Essays / The experience of being a scout ; Eagle Scout rank [9]

@Lovemedoosie

Thanks for the ideas, I'm currently working on the Boy Scout essay right now, but I have another topic I'm considering. It goes along with what you said about using any topic, even a silly one. I have this theory that I'm the only person that exists, not to be egotistical, I just thought it was interesting how everything could be a projection of my mind. I've thought a lot about it and I don't think many people can say they have. What do you think?
polaris   
Oct 10, 2011
Essays / The experience of being a scout ; Eagle Scout rank [9]

Hi, I'm working on my common app college essay and I need some help with my ideas. I'm a Boy Scout right now, and in November I will finish my project and receive my Eagle Scout rank, but it's hard for me to fully flush out what it has changed about me. The experience of being a scout has changed me profoundly and made me a better person, but is it too generic? I'm applying the Northwestern University by the way. Any help at all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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