'to train at the Saudi Investment Bank' - elaborate on one of your activities

elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(1000 characters max).

During my last year in high school, I had the privilege to train at the Saudi Investment Bank as a part of The Volunteer Work and Community Service Program through the academic year 2009-2010. In six months, this experience gave me the opportunity to explore the bank work environment and understand how the bank management works. The Saudi Investment Bank is a bank targeting the businessmen and entrepreneurs, which was a great advantage for me to deal with people with widely well- structured background of the business market. I trained as a customer service and a bank teller. I was able to work with opening a bank account for the customers, check cashing and depositing, and payment collecting. My communications skills had developed magnificently and my self-confident rose to a higher level. the staff was friendly and kind, it was easy to built a good relationship with all the employs. because the working environment itself was unique. Every time I need any assistance, my colleague would rush and generously help me. All the staff was like a family for me, I am grateful for having this experience.

if there is more suggestion i will be happy

the staff was friendly and kind AND it was easy to built a good relationship with all of the EMPLOYEES. because the working environment itself was unique. (what is this random dependent clause?) ANY time I needED assistance, my colleague would rush and generously (how can you generously help someone?) help me. All the staff was like a family for me, I am grateful for having this experience (this last line is a no-no).

You need to work out some grammar issues, but other than that it is pretty good. The sentence: "the staff was friendly and kind, it was easy to built a good relationship with all the employs. because the working environment itself was unique." could use some work. Capitalize the first "t" and omit the period after employs and that should read: EMPLOYEES not employs. "Built" should be "BUILD" and you can get rid of "itself". Hope that helps, good luck