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Posts by l_borras
Joined: Sep 20, 2011
Last Post: Jul 17, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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l_borras   
Jul 17, 2012
Scholarship / 'focus on education and extracurricular activities' - Importance of scholarship essay [3]

In one or two pages please describe your personal aspirations and career goals, and address the importance of the scholarship assistance to you in meeting these goals. Please include any information that would give the Scholarship Committee a better understanding of the importance of this scholarship to you.

Since childhood I have always enjoyed being physically active, either alone or in a team-based setting. Along with science, physical education was my favorite subject throughout my middle and high school years. It is because of my interest in sports and physical activity that I am pursuing the expanding field of physical therapy and plan to specialize in sports therapy.

I plan to specialize in sports therapy as a way to further immerse myself in a subject I already enjoy learning about. During my time volunteering at the Doctors Hospital Outpatient Rehabilitation clinic my curiosity grew as I observed several individuals both young and old gradually regain strength and function with guidance from their physical therapists. The patients were taught the importance of good posture, proper form, knowing their limitations, and other pertinent knowledge regarding their injuries and how to prevent them from reoccurring or getting worse. I also saw a mental healing take place among the patients regarding their confidence and perseverance, which developed with time alongside their physical healing. The physical and mental healing that takes place is something I want to be a part of. I know I will be maturing and learning new techniques for mental and physical health and awareness, from physical therapy seminars and even from the patients themselves.

This scholarship will enable me to continue to focus on my education and extracurricular activities, which will help me learn and grow as a person in the field of physical therapy.
l_borras   
Sep 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Thinking like a Gastronomist' - Writing about eating... [2]

Every Saturday of the week my immediate family, which comprises of about ten people, depending on whom is in town gather at my maternal grandparents' house for lunch to eat the mouthwatering delicacies my adorable grandmother prepares.

This is a time that I cherish and look forward to participating in everyday at home.

In general this is a good essay with a nice story, but try to shorten sentences similar to what I did in the first paragraph. It will flow better and sound more formal.

Also, try not to use too many abbreviations such as 'till', which is in your last sentence.
Something else to look at is the proper use of their (as in belonging to someone; their food), there (as in location; over there), and they're (short for they are). I saw those misused though I still understood what you meant.
l_borras   
Sep 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Positive work ethic' qualites and characteristics that contribute to UCF community? [2]

I am in the Health Academy, currently enrolled in an organization called Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA).

If you don't care they won't will not either. [Try not to use contractions, I remember that being a general rule in one of my English classes. It helps the essay sound more formal and professional]

..."Positive positive work ethic."

Before this life is through you will have to do a lot of stuff, hard stuff. [ I would suggest something more like "During your lifetime you will endure several hardships and obstacles before reaching your goal" (then combine it with your next sentence). Do the same for the following sentences. :) ]

I hope I helped somewhat :)
l_borras   
Sep 20, 2011
Graduate / "research and physical therapy seminars" - PTCAS essay [3]

Could someone please read and critique my application essay for physical therapy school? I'm stuck regarding what I can add or omit. Thanks in advance. :)

The question is: "Which personal characteristics and motivating factors have led you to pursue the profession of physical therapy?" The limit is 4500 characters including spaces.

Since childhood I have always enjoyed having an active lifestyle. Never hesitant to participate in my physical education class or spend the weekend riding my bicycle through the park, I feel that a career as a physical therapist would further motivate and allow me to continue living an active lifestyle.

Originally, I had planned to become a dietician due to my interest in physical activity and the desire to know how to maintain my level of fitness through what I feed my body and that knowledge on to others. However, after speaking to a few dieticians and nutritionists during my sophomore year of college, I realized that the career is mostly a desk-job and not as interactive as I had hoped. Later that same year I went to Bascom Palmer Eye Institute and observed a physical therapist that specialized in hands and the upper body. I was intrigued and decided to research the career of physical therapy. The fact that the profession is more hands on and requires collaborating with therapists and patients alike made it easy to switch my curriculum to a pre-physical therapy track.

The following year I volunteered for several months at Doctors Hospital in the outpatient rehabilitation clinic. During my time there I witnessed the mutually trusting relationship between patients and therapists along with the patient's gradual recovery, a humbling reward for both who put forth great effort and enthusiasm. One patient in particular comes to mind. He began his sessions in a wheelchair, clearly in pain and struggling to sit upon the table bed. After working on his leg strength and performing certain exercises, I saw him come in with a walker weeks later. The look on the patient's face was markedly different than when he first started. He looked proud and content at the progress he had achieved, as well as the therapist who helped him get there. The mental and physical healing that takes place is amazing to see and something I want to be a part of.

Specifically, I plan to focus on sports physical therapy to help athletes and other active individuals recuperate from and prevent future injuries by learning about the joints and various movements that pertain to their activity. It is also my goal to emphasize the importance of proper form and discipline in regards to any exercise, including treatment. Lastly I intend to present patients with the most current information that will aid in their recovery through research and physical therapy seminars available to the community.
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