Undergraduate / 'The simplest things in life...' - The extracurricular part of common app [3]

This is an excellent topic and it shows the characteristics of a good and involved student.

And get a volunteer architect to sketch up the plan for the building; 2 storeys, 6 classrooms, 3 toilets and a first aid room.this isn't a well structured sentence, you realy shouldn't start with "and"

Try to make i flow more, but the topic itself is EXCELLENT!

Undergraduate / 'my heartbeat came back in just a few seconds' - Common App [5]

this is good
the beginning is a liitle shaky but it ends very well.

However, adenosine's greatest side effects are numbness, apprehension, and an evanescent sense of doom. <---love this!

A few seconds later I felt it, like my body was shutting down and none of my internal organs could work correctly.

Granted, my heartbeat came back in just a few seconds, but I mostly just remember the flat line on the EKG. <---seems a little out of place for being at the beginning of a paragraph

ultimately, this is awesome with a great message and tells a lot about you