Undergraduate / 'Not ashamed of my duties' - CommonApp - I am japanese [9]

You've written a compelling essay. I'm not strong on grammer, but a couple of things to possibly change:

1) I couldn't help but stared for a moment... do you mean "stare"

2)...I wanted to work at for a more important position and preferably received praised from... Delete at, a comma after position, and remove d from praised?

3) I could not understand nor comprehend the purpose of my work and soon began to hate everything about it. Very negative modify.

4) I did not make any profit from this job and after a while, I felt lonely I did not profit from this job. After a while...

Best of luck!