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Posts by Mortimer
Joined: Oct 11, 2011
Last Post: Oct 12, 2011
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Posts: 3  
From: South Africa

Displayed posts: 3
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Mortimer   
Oct 12, 2011
Undergraduate / 'How My New School Has Changed Me' - Common App Essay [2]

hi on your fifth paragraph i think you could rewrite it. What I mean is instead of of likening your self to a toddler you could just say you had to learn how to make knew friends and you managed by involving yourself in extra curricular activities.

however if you didnt have to cut out that 29 words it would be just perfect.
Mortimer   
Oct 12, 2011
Undergraduate / 'nine years I spent in Shanghai' - Washington question [2]

your essay is quite exellent. i think you have specified enough on you being able to adapt to a different environment, further more the you in washington part i think you could say a little about how it will add to you as an art student. I enjoyed reading it. I'm sorry that I could not help with the title.
Mortimer   
Oct 12, 2011
Undergraduate / "I was fourteen and it was Christmastime" - Common App Expereince Essay [4]

Apart from a few grammatical errors this is a good essay. I do agree with Daniel, you should write about what that experience has done for you in terms of your own personal growth instead of just writing about your confidence in your mother.
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