Scholarship / 'Uncle Hub's advice to Walter' - Johnson Scholarship at Washington and Lee [6]

While faith is an interesting topic, it is also more subject to personal interpretation than other topics. For example, what if there are 5 people on the scholarship judging panel. Each person may vary in their degree of faith. One may go to church 1-2 a week and participate in almost every church event, while another judge may not attend church regularly or at all. People by their very nature tend to support people who are like themselves. So if you are questioning your faith and a scholarship judge is PERSONALLY offended by this, then this one person has a lot of power to affect your chances of NOT being awarded the scholarship GREATLY. Generally I advice people to choose other topics instead if possible, unless it is a religion based scholarship offered by a church or the scholarship essay questions specifically ask about faith.

If you really want to stick to the topic of questioning faith, then I suggest taking a lot of time to carefully choose your words. Perhaps describe it as: At some point everyone experiences a situation that leads them to question their faith. For people who may not feel comfortable talking to their family and friends or church pasture about their doubts, I would highly recommend this movie. The movie is able to help people regain their perspective.

Scholarship / Swiss Government Scholarship-Motivation Letter from a passionate mathematician [7]

canis89, I like the revision. There is a lot more clarity. I have further constructive feedback. Applicants are asked to send a motivational letter. Scholarship judges are expecting applicants to introduce themselves as being motivated. But the introduction of your letter currently introduces you as a needy person who needs money. I suspect the scholarship judges will likely view this introduction as "there is another one who wants the money" vs. "wow, this person is really passionate and needs the money to continue their studies, let's give the money to this person".

Scholarship / 'Uncle Hub's advice to Walter' - Johnson Scholarship at Washington and Lee [6]

Constructive feedback: the purpose of the essay is to allow for the scholarship judges a chance to get to know you. I think you can create a deeper connection if you rework your ending paragraph into your opening. Something like:

Different art mediums are able to influence people differently. For me the speech "What Every Boy Needs to Know about Being a Man" in the full film 2003 Secondhand Lions move communicates more than what I think any picture or sculpture could accomplish. It is more difficult to express words of wisdom in a still picture or sculpture than in a film. As a young man, I felt the words of wisdom regarding the importance of undeterred optimism, old-fashioned values, and unquestioning faith were said and directed towards me. When hearing such advice, I did not feel as though I was listening to words while watching a movie. Instead the film did a spectacular job of making me feel that I was receiving advice from someone I know and trust.

If I were you I would then follow up with clare11 advice about an example.

Scholarship / Swiss Government Scholarship-Motivation Letter from a passionate mathematician [7]

Constructive feedback: If I was on the Swiss Government Scholarship judge panel and I read this letter my question would be: Why should the Swiss Government want to spend its money training a student who will leave the country immediately afterwards, when the government has the option to award scholarship money to another student who is more likely to stay in the country afterwards and contribute to Switzerland's economy for years to come?

Is there a way you can answer this question and describe how Switzerland will benefit in the near future by spending THEIR money providing you with a top notch education? Maybe explain how Switzerland will benefit by being invited as guest lectures to international conferences.

Scholarship / 'my medical residency period' - to apply for a scholarship in MSc of Public Heath [7]

I agree with Bobur. I lost interest in the second paragraph. What are the instructions on the scholarship essay? What does the essay want the applicant to focus on: your experiences, listing examples, technical stuff, community involvement, why you chose this career path, what direction you would like for your career to go, how are you going to give back to the community, ect. Knowing the details of what the scholarship application is asking will help people like me give you feedback.

Scholarship / refugee resettlement - how to start my scholarship essay? [6]

For the scholarship essay, how many words or pages? For your senior project, I would start by explaining why you are interested in refugee resettlement? Are you a refugee? If so, where is your homeland? What town, state, country are you from? Why did you resettle? Did you move by yourself? Did you move with your family? Who is in you family? Parents, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles? Why did you move? What happened that made your family think it was a good idea to move? Where are you now? Why did you move to where you are now? Do you know people who are refugees? What are there stories?