Undergraduate / UPenn and Wharton School - the unique characteristics [NEW]

Sorry for posting two essays, but I'm doing many essays at the same time and I want as much critique as possible

Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?

Several times when I am alone, thinking about colleges, I think about one school more than all the others: the University of Pennsylvania, but specifically, Wharton School. There are so many great points about the University of Pennsylvania that I cannot possibly state them all. There is the fact that the University of University is in an urban setting makes my schooling even more exciting. I can imagine being in Philadelphia, with so many of the nation's task force milling around me, anxious to get to work. The energy that the people exhibit as they go to work simply makes me excited about the rest of the day too. I can see the Independence National Historic Park, with visitors looking at the relic of the American history, the Liberty Bell. And not only people going to see relics of American history; people just relaxing and having fun at the park. I am excited to be one of those few that go to the park after a hard day's of school and enjoying the sunset and the evening breeze. The Wharton School is perfectly placed so that it is nigh impossible not to wish to go there.

Not only am I attracted to the atmosphere of the University of Pennsylvania, but I am also attracted to the courses of study at Wharton School. I wish to study to become an actuary, and Wharton is listed as having one of the best Actuarial Science programs, not to mention it is one of the best schools period. I can imagine sitting down in class everyday, waiting for the world-class teacher to come and teach us what they know. Actuarial Science's core is in mathematics and in business, which I am very interested in, and is the prime reason why I chose this profession. Because of my affection for these two subjects, I will strive to become the top of the class in every single course, because only in this way will I ever be truly exemplary.

I would be able to help others in mathematics, which is a necessary component of Actuarial Science. I would help the mathematics community because mathematics is simply my best subject. On my SATs, I received an 800 on the math section. I also received an 800 on the SAT Math I and an 800 on the SAT Math II. I also plan to take the AP tests for Calculus and Statistics, so that I can get a further head start in my education in this wonderful school. With my love for mathematics, I would volunteer to help tutor other people should they need ever rise because I believe I should help the community in any way possible.

Not only do the courses attract me, the clubs at Wharton attract me too. The world is an expanding global market, so people must interact with other people throughout the world. Getting to the point, I can speak in three different dialects of Chinese. I would gain more knowledge about the business world by joining the Wharton China Association. I would become a very active member, talking with important people in China in order to accomplish the tasks the club creates. I simply cannot let this rare opportunity slip past my life.

Everyday, I dream that I will go into this great school. Philadelphia is truly a beautiful place with great history and a nice view. Wharton contains an excellent actuarial science program and the school in general is wonderful. I would help the mathematical community with my love for math and the Wharton China Association with my knowledge of the Chinese language. I know simple wishing does not get anyone anywhere, but I believe that I have worked hard enough to get into this prestigious school of Pennsylvania.

Undergraduate / Common App essay- someone who impacted you [NEW]

My grandfather, throughout my whole life, has always been the wise man, always giving me advice as to where I should take my next step. My grandfather had certainly earned that mantle as the man of the house: he was the breadwinner in his time, working tirelessly for his family; he supported his daughter, my aunt, throughout college despite financial troubles; and he had always lent a hand to anyone that needed it. Recently, he made a beautiful row of plants all by himself, never ceasing because he made a promise to finish it. Living around such a man has allowed me to take on his ideas of perseverance and responsibility, two traits that will guide me for the rest of my life. I want everyone to look up to me, just as they did to my grandfather, because only then will I know that I am an important part of the community.

If I had not revered my grandfather, I would never have learned the meaning of perseverance. When I was twelve years old, I went to work at my parent's restaurant. I thought I would do well, simply because I hoped that I would do well. However, when I came home, I was dejected because I made many mistakes. I was thinking to myself, how could I ever be successful in life if I cannot work properly at my own parent's restaurant? Then my grandfather came to me in my time of need. He knew that I did poorly in the restaurant, and he told me to look at the future and forget the past. How can one be successful if they only look in the past, he asked. I used my grandfather's wisdom in school, when I was working on sample problems for the Trig Star competition. The problems were very difficult, and I worked days on them. My friends tried to discourage me from trying so hard, but I did not listen to them, so focused I was towards my goal. In the end, with a little hard work, I won the state Trig Star contest. To this day, I take his words of wisdom to heart, never stopping to think how I did, but instead, I would look straight in the future and charge headlong, ready to tackle any problems.

Not only did my grandfather teach me that I should never give up, he also taught me to take responsibility of my own actions. When I was five years old, I went exploring in my house, trying to grasp the history of my culture, China. I had learned much that day, from the importance of the emperor, to the great artisans of lore. I was examining my father's porcelain figure of a Chinese Baby that symbolized wealth when I accidentally dropped it. Scared if its implications, I scooped up the pieces and hid them in the bathroom closet. I was fearful throughout the day that someone would blame me for the disappearance of the artifact. The next day, my grandfather found those missing pieces. He did not tell my father, but instead he showed me the pieces, and entrusted me to do the right thing. I told my father, and though he was peeved, he forgave me. I had to apply this lesson from my past at work. On a phone call, I received a phone call where a customer ordered more than two hundred dollars of work. When I asked for his phone as a reference, he merely stuttered and hung up the phone, then he would call back and yell at me to hurry up. Luckily, he forgot to block his number on the caller ID, and I immediately notified my father, who contacted the police. I continue to preach that I must always be responsible and do the right thing, because if I am not, then who will be?

I owe my responsibility and my perseverance to the lessons my grandfather taught me. Without them, I would probably have perished in failure and the endless tirades of fault. These two lessons are indeed the core principle to success. Even though I am to leave my family and my grandfather, his lessons will always be with me. Moreover, through my interactions with my community, his lessons will spread to the whole world.