Unanswered [30] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by callmeapple
Joined: Oct 19, 2011
Last Post: Oct 23, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  

From: Nepal

Displayed posts: 8
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
callmeapple   
Oct 23, 2011
Undergraduate / You got to be surgeon one day!-Common app, topic of your choice [2]

Babu! You got to Be Surgeon One Day...
My name is Sarjan (pronounced as surgeon). Dad gave me this name. Indeed, he must be poor at spellings so I got my name spelled as Sarjan. Nevertheless, he wanted me to become surgeon.

Dad used to insist me to become surgeon every day. But now, he has changed. He never tells me that.

* * * * * *

Local organization at my locality organizes a poem competition annually. At my tenth grade, Dad heard about it, so insisted me to take part.
Every religion says that God created us. Anyone who disregards God is an evil. Dad created me. This does mean Dad is God. So, I got to obey Dad. So, without a single word for defense, I told Dad that I would take part, so wrote a poem.

As it was a local competition, many neighbors would be present. It was a matter of pride for Dad. So, I don't know how but he persuaded my language teacher to write poem for me. My language teacher is a professional poet. He wrote a poem for me that was infinity times better than mine. I planned to recite that poem. But, in the eleventh hour of the competition, my heart and mind started battling on which poem to recite. Both poems were in my pockets: the one written by myself and the one written by my teacher. My name was announced, but my mind was saying that competition was a matter of pride but my heart was saying that you are not a thief unless you want to become a thief. I went with my heart. At last, I was first runner up so, was awarded with 'letter of appreciation' and 'khada'*.

My parents were happy. Many people were congratulating my parents too. But, I was extremely unhappy with my parents and my teacher. On the way back home, I dumped khada. Immediately after reaching home, I broke down beautifully glassed framed certificate into pieces. I don't know what I was thinking while breaking it but I am pretty sure that after breaking, I should have smiled and lied down on bed. My parents and my teacher knew about the incident late in the evening but they never scolded me for doing that. In fact, I published an article on national newspaper talking about the corruption in educational system in ***** .

My sixth sense tells me that the pieces of that certificate are still in my mother's wardrobe. But, I don't have courage to ask for it,... to break it for second time. I could observe lots of changes in Dad then after. He never asked me to take part in any poem competition and never took help of any experts to help me win any competition. But, one remarkable change that I noticed was he never told me "Babu! You got to be surgeon one day."

* a piece of cloth, worn around neck, given to achievers
callmeapple   
Oct 19, 2011
Undergraduate / Is this a computer? Common app- topic of your choice! [2]

It is my first draft. Please advise me! It's ok to be harsh!

Is this a computer?

During 1990s a computer system was made. Unlike others, it was of completely different design and was made for completely different purpose. It was modeled at 'Shrestha' company of Nepal.

Talking about the computer system, it has atypical CPU. It weighs around 1.5 kilograms. Other chips were placed far from the CPU. Parallel transmission medium was used to connect between chips and peripherals. However, each single cable could work independently. It needs to function continuously and twenty four hours a day. It has its own backup power system. So, it needs to be charged only three to four times a day depending on the work load. It is natural for body to get hotter working twenty four hours a day. So, a unique type of cooler was used. It is neither the fan nor the ready water nor the metal heat sink. The cooler covers the whole body and is elastic and flexible in structure. Two webcam were fitted just in front of CPU. Two speech synthesizers were fitted and are adjacent to webcam. One speaker, that could control intensity, loudness and pitch on its own, was fitted somewhere below two webcams. Four actuators were fitted around the bridge chips. But, interestingly, a smell detector was also fitted between speaker and webcams. This model was completed after successful installation of BIOS in i 1993, August 06.

After that, many driver software were installed in the body. Webcam driver, speaker driver, speech synthesizing drivers, smells detecting driver and actuator drivers. After successful installation of these drivers, CEO of Shrestha Company bought many generic software from Mount Sinai software company. Those software include encyclopedia, music player, dance simulator, games, word processor, graphic designer and many more. Later, some errors were reported by computer. So, to continue update process, the agreement with Mount Sinai was terminated and new agreement was signed with Valley View. With software from valley view, computer demonstrated different capabilities like leading the parade team, dance simulating, games, volunteerism simulating and many more. But, the software from valley view were not enough so two year agreement was signed with King's software corporation for A-level upgrade.

Some interesting transition occurred during all this update process. Initially, it was designed to work in hospital to help doctors in surgery. So, it was named Sarjan (pronounced as surgeon). However, it seemed not to like helping doctors. It has wonderful math co-processor and problem solving capabilities. It seemed inclined towards helping other computers. So, Shrestha Company has designed to send this computer to send to USA for final tailored program installation; to complete the soul of a computer made for computers. And, this is the story of my life!
callmeapple   
Oct 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Which Way to Go' - my reflective essay [3]

What is the question for this essay?
As Liebe has said, you need to add hook in the beginning of the essay so that you can engage your audience!
callmeapple   
Oct 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'It is not easy to be an engineer' - Common App Essay [3]

Not a wise man's advice, but a foolish friend's comment!

It would be better, in my opinion, if you had elaborated on how and what have you learnt from challenge rather than mentioning I learn a lot from a challenge. I think essay should imply, not state that you have done in first sentence of last paragraph.
callmeapple   
Oct 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Academics and community' - Duke Supplement (If you are applying to Trinity College) [3]

If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something in particular at Duke that attracts you?

I first learned about Duke University at US news, then I opened the official website of Duke university. I went through the research page. Oh my God! that was awesome. I could not take my eyes out of the site for several hours. My love for Duke grew more sticky than glycerin at a first sight. The curriculum, research opportunities and resources were fantastic. Although I want to major in computer science, I always wanted to work with other departments, especially mathematics and biology and Duke does provide with that opportunity.

Cultural and intellectual diversity, research opportunities, resources, best possible curriculum, sports, and beautiful campus are all available at Duke University. The thing that encouraged me to apply to Duke University is its research profile of computer science. Internship in a world renowned companies like IBM and others, and fellowship programs like C-SURF are the things that every student of computer science would dream of. With such opportunities, I am sure that I can get academic success. Beside academics, in Duke, I can be in a global community, learn about the whole world from single place and share what I have to people of different place. What other things do I need other than these to apply? In a nut shell, Duke is a perfect match for me.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳