Undergraduate / 'The office workers' - Common App EC essay about debate [11]

Thank you very much guys!
@ zhaoyihao, thanks for pointing that out. It's fixed.
@kwikandrew, thank you :)
@cherrybomb94, ha funnily enough I actually have changed that 'my chilhood sentence' to "Many of my childhood memories consist of my best friend coaxing me to sing, and of her mother knowing it was me on the phone if she couldn't hear "hello." " because I agree, it did sound very strange.

I'm going to talk to my English teacher about the ending, because it's not where I want it to be. I'm glad you agree with me.

Undergraduate / 'My cousin, Trent' - ApplyTexas Significant Influence [15]

Yeah, I understand your confusion. I'll change that. Don't want the admission officers to have to you know, think.