Midnight Dove
Oct 25, 2011
Undergraduate / "All that I am or ever hope to be" - College Essay [4]
It sounds like your mother has a very unique story and, just from reading your essay, I can already see why she has gained your unwavering affection.
The only worry I have is that many people see their mothers as 'role models' for the exact same reasons that you do. Talking about the influences she has had on you or the sacrifices she has made for you without mentioning specifics gives admissions officers a vague idea of what your mother has done specifically that have impacted you as a person. One thing you might consider is describing perhaps a specific conversation you heard or a certain instance of your mother's stress that you remember clearly. I think this would more efficiently illustrate the life you have grown up with and would allow admissions officers to see you as unique.
I like the quote by Abe Lincoln though. If I were you, I would keep it.
It sounds like your mother has a very unique story and, just from reading your essay, I can already see why she has gained your unwavering affection.
The only worry I have is that many people see their mothers as 'role models' for the exact same reasons that you do. Talking about the influences she has had on you or the sacrifices she has made for you without mentioning specifics gives admissions officers a vague idea of what your mother has done specifically that have impacted you as a person. One thing you might consider is describing perhaps a specific conversation you heard or a certain instance of your mother's stress that you remember clearly. I think this would more efficiently illustrate the life you have grown up with and would allow admissions officers to see you as unique.
I like the quote by Abe Lincoln though. If I were you, I would keep it.
