Undergraduate / 'at least one activity that dominated my time' - Most Interesting Experience Essay [2]

The prompt: tell us about your most interesting experience. 500 word max. There are bracketed portions that mark potential different directions or ideas...

Let me know what you think needs to change. This thing is a mess, sadly.

My junior year was hectic. Each day of the week had at least one activity that dominated my time, two when possible. Marching band on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday; orchestra on Sunday, science and math competitions on Saturday; lessons on Wednesday; jazz band each morning and clubs in the space before marching band. I was busy, unorganized and my intentions to reform motivated action inconsistently. My friend, Jason, was also discontentedly ineffective. While discussing our efforts, he reminded me that New Year's resolutions are the poster-child for unrealized dreams. We decided most resolvers abandon their projects because their goals have a murky delineation. If we wanted to buck the norm and achieve our goals, our resolve must be substantial and focused.

During this autumn conversation, we conceived The Thanksgiving Compact which we then shared with our friend Nolan. Together, we conspired to improve ourselves; intending to raise our grades, breakdance with swag, dominate the AMC, and socialize fluently. We drafted a rough outline in a week and spent the vacation detailing its diction. Each of us picked goals and committed to written schedules; the rest reviewed these declarations of intent, checking for clarity and practicality. When progress ceased, so did my friends' resolve.

Though perhaps forgotten by my cosigners, the precepts of the compact affected me profoundly. After the drafting, I kept considering my own goals, especially the goal to recognize everyday adventure opportunities, and in the past two years I've adventured more than in my first sixteen combined. Many of these would have never occurred without the compact's psychology.

The time I got lost with Michael and we wifi'd our way home, exploring the streets of Atlanta with Jason, the weekend on campus with Nolan at Tech, and self-studying the AP Pysch and AP Macro exams with Bennett are all adventures that were motivated by the compact. Even my experiences with the Milton orchestra through Matthew, hosting a graduation party with Jonathan, and meeting my best friend, Larissa, have all been a result of the compact.

[discussing different kinds of adventures rather than specific ones, maybe one of each? intellectual, etc.
The compact has lead me to intellectual adventures, social enrichment and physical challenges. From self-studying AP Pysch and AP Macro with Nolan to a Fitocracy level race with Andrey, ]

More recently, I have used the management skills I acquired to sail through sixteen hours of courses this summer while covering the physics required for my directed study of quantum field theory this fall. This fall I completed the schedule for 8.20, as posted in OCW, to enrich my modern physics course and I have been working on the psets from 18.100 to develop mathematical maturity, while taking a twenty hour load. My success these past two semesters is defined by my new mentality for goal setting, which is [something compact].

The experiences I've had as a result of the compact have become the core of my fondest memories That is why I believe that its creation is the most interesting, if not the most important thing to ever happen to me.

Undergraduate / 'The word physics summons two scenes' - Why MIT essay [6]

"Please explain your reasons for wanting to attend MIT" supposed to be roughly 250 words, I think I'm at like 280? whoops...

If anyone could give me input on the first three sentences, that would be great. I think it's awkward, but I don't know how to make them work better. I originally had the two items as bullet elements, but that doesn't really work in an essay...

Any help with word count would be great, but some of the examples I intend to keep.

The essay is not really concluded, as you can tell. I want to make the idea of rheopectic paint relevant, as odd as it seems, (it's a non-newtonian fluid) and that paragraph is basically the listing of my reasons, though not explicitly.

The part about the optical lattice needs reworking, (or removal!!!) but the idea is basically that I am trapped, and I can't escape. MIT could give me the energy I need to overcome the potential well. Again, totally willing to scrap this.

This is a weird rough mix, but I think it's shaping up.

The word physics summons two scenes. The first, a researcher's office: Ancient editions of Physical Review D, books bursting off metal shelves with a cloud of dust and the sediment of "filed" student papers from 1993, two computer monitors with the LCD glow of activity. The second, students: An information cloud of caffeinated passion, spontaneously coalescing under trees, on the edge of a fountain, around the professor after class, between beds and living rooms, pushing through psets together.

Though my image of a platonic physics professor is fiction, I know my dreams of assiduity are a reality at MIT. Students learn from each other, as well as their professors. I want to learn from, and hope to contribute to this scientific community.

Presently, there is no scientific community for me to join. My classes are populated by older students who disdain an undergrad three or four years their junior, no matter how interested. My discussions with Dr. LaRosa and Dr. Kidonakis are the only inkling of community I've found, but these discussions are limited by my professors' availability and my limited experience. I feel like an atom in an optical lattice with energy just short of what I need to overcome the potential and a transmission probability only a few percent.

I believe that I could melt into MIT like rheopectic paint, slowly easing into the community and then thickening into unique splotches, making my own mark on the canvas. I could apply for that UROP with Dr. Coppi in the LNS, and study phenomenology. I could join the SPS and take part in a community of physics students. I could take classes with students my own age that would treat me like a fellow student instead of a child.

Undergraduate / Essay on why I am wanting to transfer (for a competitive application) [2]

The essay prompt is "Please discuss why you are considering transferring from your current college or university." The essay supposed to be roughly 250 words and what I have now is a relatively unedited (and as honest as possible) explanation of my situation. It is kind of a mess at the moment, but I'm just trying to get what I want to say in some form. Any help in structuring the essay would be fantastic, I know it's not very good so please don't be rude about what's bad. My goal is to take this information and make it a cohesive essay, again, this is just a sort of jumble of ideas and history.

When I applied for colleges from high school, my primary goal was to get into a music school and get a degree in music with a minor in mathematics or physics. I primarily studied physics and math as a hobby and while I found both fascinating, I simply did not have the academic record to be competitive for admissions. I did science competitions and did fairly well on a state and sometimes interstate level, but I didn't put any effort in schooling. Perhaps to my benefit, I did not gain admissions to any of the schools for which I auditioned and I was left with academic admissions to several schools where I would have been happy to study music, but virtually unable to seriously study anything academic. I chose Kennesaw State because after some investigation I discovered that despite not having a full physics department or even a major in physics, they offered directed studies in physics. I immediately began discussing the prerequisites to register with Dr. Kidonakis, who now advises my studies in quantum field theory, and discovered that I met them with my exam scores. I registered as mathematics major and took three mathematics courses this summer, but I found my classes unchallenging and began discussing mathematics out of class with my professors. I began mapping out courses so that I could transfer to a Georgia school like GT or UGA, but when I told my professors of my intentions, they recommended I apply more broadly and take risks in applying. I've spent most of my time this semester working on my directed study with Dr. Kidonakis, but it's not possible for him to guide me through the entire undergraduate curriculum one course at a time and even if he did, my degree would still be in mathematics. I need a place where I can take courses in physics that are intended for future physicists, a place where I can get a degree; while there's nothing wrong with being a high school teacher, the material they learn is simply not presented in the same context as what I need. I need a place where I can be challenged and find value in the courses I take; a place where I can have peers and opportunities to do research and experience physics first hand.

Thank you in advanced for any and all help!