Undergraduate / CMC supplement, My mother as a leader [2]

my supplement for CMC. Prompt: Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis at CMC. In fact, one of the ways we describe CMC students is "Leaders in the Making." Choose someone, fictional or nonfictional, whom you consider to be a leader. Suppose you are this person's primary advisor. How would you advise this person and why?

Leader I chose: My mother

Dear Catalina Lopez,
Although you are not an activist, a religious figure nor a scientist. You are surely a brave human being with outstanding characteristics. You have given birth to 4 children, me being one of them. You had suffer the pain of a mother. You have drop tears of despair for your children when one comes late from a friend's one. You are the mother who cares for their children, you are the mother that would protect your children regardless if you have to give your life in exchange. You are the mother who works hard to serve a simple plate of beans, rice and tortillas in our folklore-looking table, a simple meal but with much love and joy. You are without doubts a leader.

A leader is not one who likes to be independent but the one who works as a team to succeed. You worked hard with your family in order to keep peace in your house and not make your mother angry who was suffering from leukemia. Mother, you took over your mother's duties. You cleaned the house, you cook, you took care of the animals, and when you had a minute of spare time you would try to read a newspaper that you had found on the floor when you were on your way to the molino. Taking responsibility is defiantly a leader's characteristic. Instead of going to school, although you wanted to, you couldn't simply because that was not part of your culture, simply because your dad told you that they were better things to do than going to school to waste your time reading books instead of doing something productive as he said which was to work.

Catalina, although you are an all-rounded leader you are not perfect because you are human. Just like any other human being on the planet you have your weaknesses. You are too tolerant, you are too weak, and a conformist at time. Although you want to speak up when your boos screams at you, you do it, you stand up for yourself, you stand up for my siblings, my father, and I without with fear.

I advise you to not be fearful to the obstacles that life will put along the way. Catalina you are a strong human being, intelligent, and loving but many times you lack confidence. Don't conform yourself with societies standards. You should've disobey with your father's decision in not going to school. You should've gone if it was your dream but you didn't because you were a conformist.

You now every now and then sit next to me and talk to me how I should've be like you were. You now tell me how I should fight for what I love, for what I am passionate about. I have taken your and my own advice, not to be a conformist. I have learn through you mother than I have to work hard for a better life although I am unwanted in the United States. Although many ignorant citizens claim that you take their job away, I have to fight for a better future for me and our family. As minorities that we are, we should go along with what society wants us to be. Mother, just like you stand up against people treat you unfair, I will stand up for those who are being treated unfair.

Please go hard!!! I need the best corrections possible. Tell me if I need to chose someone else. I really appreciate it thank you.

Undergraduate / 'I come from a dangerous neighborhood in South Central LA' - UC prompt #1 [5]

It has been nine years, but I remember like it was just yesterday. I migrated with my parents and three siblings from Oaxaca, Mexico to the United States trying to escape the violence of narcotic traffickers and the poverty that is prevalent in Latin America. Once in the United States, we lived in a small, uncomfortable garage. At night, I shared a mattress on the floor with my three siblings and my parents slept directly on the floor. Our financial needs forced my siblings to drop out of high school to work to pay our basic bills. Throughout my youth, my parents and I faced struggles because of our resident status. During my freshman year, my brother was deported. I can still see and feel my mother's tears on my shoulder as I tried to comfort her, a task that was impossible to do. When I learned to speak English in school, our lives improved because it allowed me to communicate and translate for my parents. We were able to get into a one room apartment because I could help my parents communicate enough to make an appointment and sign a lease.

I come from a dangerous neighborhood in South Central Los Angeles where every night you hear gunshots. My reality is too often watching my peers serve time in prison instead of graduating from high school. I face gang violence every day, I've seen gang members and innocent people get shot, and I have even been robbed by a mob of gangsters coming home from school. I can vividly remember one of the gang members pulling out a gun and pointing it at my forehead demanding me to give him everything I had. Afraid as I was, I gave him everything but he gave me something even more valuable, the resolve to work towards a better life for me and my family.

Being undocumented is an obstacle that I still haven't been able to overcome. While working on a community service project this summer, the supervisor rejected me because I was illegal, telling me that "people like me did not have the right to obtain an education in America". Knowing that I am undocumented makes me feel transparent, makes me feel insignificant. My parents, also undocumented, can't find decent jobs, they are exploited, working 12 hours a day at minimum wage. I want more! I want a chance to have a job that is a rewarding career, rather than a job whose sole goal is to provide for basic necessities. I want the opportunity to attend college and continue to law school and become an immigration lawyer. I know the road ahead will not be easy but armed with this education, I want to be able to prevent families like mine from being ripped apart and to help fight for the civil rights of other discriminated minorities. Learning English allowed me to help my family, college and law school would allow me to help so many more.

( I dont know if my first paragraph has any transition to my 2nd.)