drdee08
Nov 16, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I learned how to interact with other workers.' - Rutgers Essay [4]
The starting is good, but there is not transition from one paragraph to another. You can easily re-arrange the order of the paragraphs and nobody would notice. Thats not the bad part, but the whole essay sounds BORING !! sounds like any other essay. The admissions committee has to read like 3,000 to 5,000 essays, and Im sorry to say, after the first 2 paragraphs I lost attention and would just put it aside and not continue reading. Have a good story, just one, not like 3 or 4 stories. This needs a lot of work. !!! every sentence and every word must keep the flow of the essay, and I hate to admit it, This essay has NO FLOW !!
Keep working on it.
LOT OF WORK NEEDED.
GOOD LUCK.
The starting is good, but there is not transition from one paragraph to another. You can easily re-arrange the order of the paragraphs and nobody would notice. Thats not the bad part, but the whole essay sounds BORING !! sounds like any other essay. The admissions committee has to read like 3,000 to 5,000 essays, and Im sorry to say, after the first 2 paragraphs I lost attention and would just put it aside and not continue reading. Have a good story, just one, not like 3 or 4 stories. This needs a lot of work. !!! every sentence and every word must keep the flow of the essay, and I hate to admit it, This essay has NO FLOW !!
Keep working on it.
LOT OF WORK NEEDED.
GOOD LUCK.
