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Posts by shirley94
Joined: Nov 16, 2011
Last Post: Nov 16, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 2
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shirley94   
Nov 16, 2011
Undergraduate / "Don't hurt people" ; Civil & Environmental Engineering at CMU [3]

"effected" should be changed to affected. Also, this sentence sounds a bit awkward: "I first learned what exactly gas drilling was and how it effected the community who was experiencing it and why." Maybe re-wording it would make it stronger. Other than that, this is a very well written essay with great details :)
shirley94   
Nov 16, 2011
Undergraduate / 'to pursue and master the science of medicine in the discipline of Neurobiology' USC [2]

Hello, I would greatly appreciate any help I could get with revision of this essay. I am very passionate about attending USC and since I don't have the high SAT scores they expect, I would like my essay to be very well written. Thank you.

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC.

My biggest dream in life is to pursue and master the science of medicine in the discipline of Neurobiology, which I believe will drive me to reach my limits, and so offer my skills to new generations, in addition to providing social assistance to the country as a future physician.

Neurobiology is a fascinating discipline in medicine that focuses on the treatment of the nervous system- a critical system of the body that has always captivated my intellectual curiosity. The human brain is an intriguing system filled with intricate abilities which have always compelled me to further my knowledge and delve into the studies of the abnormalities related to it. It's complex structure and perfect ability to control an individual's behaviors, feelings, and thoughts has always been a mesmerizing concept that I wish to one day further my studies on.

Every year, disorders related to the brain become more prevalent, and research in the area of neurobiology continues to become a vital key in the foundation towards the improvement of medicine. The University of Southern California is an exceptional institution recognized as a leader in the world of research. By studying at the University of Southern California, I will be given an incredible opportunity to further my research alongside some of the best professors in the world, such as Dr. Antonio Damasio, who, after discovering that emotions play a central role in social cognition and decision-making, has given me the desire to one day emulate him and his success. Through this, I will advance into the world of medicinal practice by helping individuals through my research. Furthermore, USC offers various research opportunities all over the world which would allow me to further my knowledge in the medical field.

Although neurosurgery is a rigorous career to pursue, I feel I have the passion and extreme aspiration that will provide me with the motivation to overcome all the milestones needed to achieve my goals. I have an innate desire to help ill individuals who are most in need, and I hope to do so through my genuine compassion and commitment to my career. I hope to continue to devote endless hours towards my studies in order to excel and become the best in my desired profession.

The art of neurosurgery is a compelling discipline of medicine filled with perplexing mysteries which I hope to one day discover through my future career. I hope to find a sense of fulfillment in my future, and I believe that the challenging career of medicine will lead me towards this path. I sincerely long for the day when I can practice my acquired knowledge to my best extent and so offer aid and beneficial assistance to those in need. I feel that the practice of medicine is an immense honor that allows for the most meritorious job one could ever wish for.
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