Undergraduate / "The Sophistic Poet" -University of Washington - Short Response Q.2 [4]

The University of Washington seeks to create a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints. How would you contribute to this community? Rec. 350-500 words

When thousands of applications flock into admissions offices all around the country every year, it's almost certain that a general trend occurs. A vast majority of students have exceptional credentials, making it hard to tell students apart. Many students end up looking exactly alike on paper, sharing similar test scores and academics. What separates all these students however is their character, their diversity. As a person who's grown up in many different locations, seized many different opportunities, and developed many different viewpoints, I'm able rise about these trends.

Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, my diversity begins here. I've lived on the East Coast for half my life and in total I've moved four times. Having lived in numerous states on both sides of the country, I've become well rounded in many different cultures. From the urbane lifestyle of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to the hot sun of Delano, California, I've met numerous people from different places and have become familiar with many different lifestyles.

As with being enriched in different experiences, one stands out in particular. As a freshman, my English teacher began a poetry unit in which we were to write and share poetry. I fell madly in love. I learned about poets such as Spenser and Shakespeare and about the different types poems. Seeing this as a new opportunity, I experimented with poetry outside of school, keeping it to myself, rarely revealing it to anyone. It became a deep passion throughout high school. By the end of my junior year, I had handcrafted almost fifty poems ranging from elegies to villanelles, all with little recognition. What started out as a simple English unit turned into a raging passion; a passion fueled by nothing more than my interest in poetic lines.

When it comes to viewpoints, mine are well beyond typical. I believe discussing to be just as important as learning in our society. Just like the sophists of the ancient Greeks who constantly discussed and used rhetoric to win arguments, I value the ability to debate no matter what side you argue for. Family and friends often commented on how often I posed questions and how angry they would become when I refused to agree with them. My love for debating has allowed me to see both sides of any argument and has allowed me to develop more complex viewpoints than someone who is simply one sided.

Thousands of similar candidates will send their applications to your office. With it, trends among students will inevitably occur. There'll be groups of students who stand out to be a certain characteristic, and groups of students who stand out to be another. Deep within those groups of students who share commonalities, I hope to be the one that rises above the norm, the one who has lived in all corners of the US, the one who will write sonnets in secrecy and argue endlessly over anything. It is with this diversity that I find myself able to contribute to your community.

Words: 497

Any thoughts?
Too many topics for only 500 words?
Do I need to be more selective?
Im Filipino (Asian), should I include something about my race? Seriously?

Undergraduate / "A World of Constant Change" University of Washington Personal Statement [2]

Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
550-650 words rec.

Awaking from what felt like an eternity, I stepped drowsily out of the truck onto the freshly paved driveway of my new house, noticing that nothing around me seemed familiar. From the white-capped Cascades to the calming, greenish blue waters of the Puget Sound, I had been thrust into a whole new environment. Even the air was different; no longer was I forced to inhale the smog-enriched atmosphere of California's central valley. Instead, this air was more temperate and moist, a completely different feeling for the lungs. Moving from place to place, however, was nothing foreign to me; it was how I lived my life as a child.

My mother, brother, and I decided to move to Washington in the late summer of 2001 as a means of staying close to my father, who actively served in the US Navy at the time as an EMC. Having a devoted, loving father, he knew that it was best our family moved whenever he changed ships and changed locations. As a child, this meant a world of constant change. From the moment I was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, to my last move to here in 2001, I had moved four times and experienced life in all corners of the US. While my parents, both native and born in the Philippines, grew accustomed to this constant change, I as a young, naïve child was unable to fully comprehend why I kept having to change schools and reintroduce myself to all my teachers and fellow classmates.

The move here to Washington felt slightly different though. During my earlier childhood, I never understood the need to move or why I found myself constantly losing friends; it simply did not phase me. However, having to move here in the middle of grade school, at an age where I valued my friends more than ever before, I vividly remember sadly telling all of them the news that I needed to move north to Washington. At the time, I realized that I would have to meet new teachers and meet new friends, socially restarting from scratch. Sure I would miss the beating, torrid sun of Kern County, but having to completely restart and meet new people seemed inscrutable.

Having to meet new people and becoming familiar to a completely different environment appeared a scary, daunting task. Acting diffidently during the first week or two at my new school, I found myself alone in misery, eating lunch by myself and having no one to play with at recess. I wanted my old friends back and I wished I never moved. Missing my many old friends, I couldn't fathom how I would socially survive what felt like the end of the world.

During the same first few weeks here in Washington, I realized something; I could not simply dwell on the sadness of lost friends. I knew that I would need to make friends and adapt to my new environment. Adaptability; what I consider to be a major aspect of my character today. My will to adapt and seek new opportunities overpowered any sadness I had about moving. It did not take long for me to make new friends and become more open to new opportunities. Having to move numerous times as a child in fact strengthened my will to work with others and to adapt to any challenges life tossed at me. Moving to Washington has helped me develop proficiency in team-cooperation and adaptability and overall shows how I am ready for any change.

Having to move to Washington in 2001 has been one of the greatest challenges in my life. It was full of sadness and despair, yet at the same time showed me how proficient I really was at adapting. I've become a person who enjoys meeting new people, seeing sights, and enjoying any new challenges life offers. No longer am I scared to start something new, fearing change or alteration. This experience proved my ability to adapt to any obstacle, and with it I am ready to take on any challenges your institution, or the rest of my life, has to offer.

686 words.

Tell me your thoughts?
Should I cut anything?
Too long?
Voice?
Etc Etc Etc...