Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Lesliema713
Joined: Nov 21, 2011
Last Post: Nov 25, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Lesliema713   
Nov 24, 2011
Undergraduate / 'born in Taiwan and raised in Shanghai' - uc prompt [5]

THANKYOU for your suggestions! I will definitely revise my essay according to your opinions.
I have another question, is my idea or dream superficial? since when i gave my essay to my teacher, she said the idea is superficial and i should rewrite it.

Thankyou!
Lesliema713   
Nov 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'born in Taiwan and raised in Shanghai' - uc prompt [5]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

As a child with United States citizenship, born in Taiwan and raised in Shanghai. I am always considered an outsider in these communities. This situation frequently causes me to feel ambiguous about which community I truly belong.

Shanghai, where I grew up, is the most familiar environment to me. However, I still have troubles assimilating into the local community because I am recognized as a foreigner because of my Taiwanese accent. When I was seven years old, my mother and I were talking in a post office; a middle-aged woman grabbed and asked us if we were from Taiwan. When we told her yes, she gaped at us. Then, she bent down, stared at me and started to touch my hair. Suddenly, she exclaimed, "Oh! So cute!" At that moment, I finally realized how pandas feel when they are being gazed at in zoos. However, being special gives me an advantage of making more friends in local school because my classmates are always eager to chat with me.

In Taiwan, where I feel the most comfortable, I am still an outsider even away from my relatives. When I go back to Taiwan, my cousin enjoys telling me jokes that are very popular in the local community. However, every time he finishes a joke, I have to wait until he stops laughing and have him explain it to me.

In California, where I attended a dance party during a Stanford summer program, the way people dance stunned me. Girls put their hands in their hair making the sexiest moves and the boys were jumping and shouting. I never saw people dance so crazy before, and the whole room seemed like a zoo to me. I was so terrified at that party that I really wish to dig a hole and hide myself. However, after my friends encouraged me to let go of my psychological boundaries, I still enjoyed the party, experienced a different culture and become part of the zoo.

My world is a combination of multiple countries, which I am a citizen of many but a member of none. This lack of cultural identity makes me dream of combining these three incongruous identities into one unique perspective. By sharing my experiences in each culture, I aspire to dispel the prejudices among these countries. Furthermore, I will be proud to become a part of all three communities and a transmitter of cultures and social values among them.
Lesliema713   
Nov 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Both my parents and I are immigrants' - uc prompt 1 [2]

The idea of the essay is good. I think you can indicate which country you migrate from can better illustrate ur situations.
btw, you can divide the first paragraphs into more paragraphs.

Hope this help! =]
Lesliema713   
Nov 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my Chinese class was preparing' - Tell us about a personal quality [3]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important
to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the
person you are?
Please give me suggestions to improve my essay. Thankyou!

During sixth grade, my Chinese class was preparing to perform The Little Match Girl on stage. My teacher asked me which character I wanted to be. There were only two choices left; the angel who takes the girl to heaven and the cruel woman who kicks the girl out of her house. I replied that I wanted to be the cruel woman because I thought it is more exciting and attractive to be a villain. Suddenly, all of my classmates and teacher gaped at me. My teacher asked me if I was sure. Looking into her eyes I knew she did not believe it within my ability, and her incredulity spurred me to prove myself. I stood up, walked toward a table, shouted, kicked and hit it as if I had become this character. When I finished, I looked up again and saw my teacher's and classmates' eyes opened wider. Before the final performance of The Little Match Girl during the talent show, I never thought audiences would be amazed by my acting. During the production, I fell in love with drama and the feeling of exceeding my limits.

Throughout my high school life, I have performed many characters that range from Snow White to an evil witch. However, I prefer to be villains since in my perspective, they are often the most complex and memorable characters. Despite villains' immoral motivation, their persistence and willingness to put an effort and take risks are actually personality traits that I admire.

As the president of drama club, I became focused on my responsibilities, learned to communicate and cooperate with the actors, and realized how to use creative performance to hold audiences' interest. However, these skills did not come easily to me. The first comedy I written and directed was a total disaster because of a lack of leadership and experience. For example, I forgot my blockings which caused me to crawl across the stage while all the audiences were staring at me. At the end of the play, I even neglected to take the curtain call. When I watched the video of my play, the production was an accidental farce. Moreover, one third of my club's members quit after the performance.

However, this failure did not dispel my passion for drama but enhanced it. In fact, I do not care how people look at me anymore because I had already lost a significant amount of face. I decided to write and direct another comedy by making sure not to repeat the same mistakes from the previous production. During the preparation of the new play, I pleaded my actors to rejoin the club repeatedly. While writing the script, I put myself in the shoes of the audience to determine which aspects of comedy are truly hilarious to them. Unfortunately, even though I had already thought of any accidents that might happen during the performance, unexpected events still occurred. When we were dancing, the music suddenly stopped. Everyone on stage froze for a second, but I was not going to allow this accident to destroy my months of effort thus I started to sing and other actors joined along. Finally, I heard cheers supporting our bravery. For the first time in my acting career, I tasted the sweetness of success, and the smiles on the audiences' faces filled me with confidence.

I love being on stage, feeling the heat of spotlights, hearing the sound of my high heels clicking on the wooden floor, and watching the eyes of audiences mesmerized with my performance. People in my school describe me as a nice and polite girl. However, they will also describe me as a girl who always realizes her dream through persistence and surprises them by exceeding her limits.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳