Undergraduate / "Attack Life"-Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay [4]

I agree with stargirlpanda. I think you should focus on a specific experience and wrap your theme around that experience. I'm writing this essay as well. Good luck to all the Stanford applicants!

Undergraduate / "Ambassador" - Commonapp Activity essay for edit [4]

With these believesbeliefs , I stepped up, from being reluctant when speaking in public,don't think you need a comma here to becoming a leader of ...

The experience made me confident to become a leaderlead others . Through these years, I realized , while doing something I love ...

I liked this a lot. It gives a good message and conveys your passion of leadership well.

Undergraduate / 'Nowhere without hard work' - Describing the world I come from -UC Prompt #1 [3]

But then I catch myself and I put myself back in my place.
You should elaborate on this. Give examples on how you overcome losing your willpower to go on.

You do a good job describing the situation you are in, but you should expand on "how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations." Perhaps there is a certain field you wish to study in college as a result of your world.