Undergraduate / "Finding a new home" UC PROMPT 1 [NEW]

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Finding a place where you belong is not always easy. Most assume that in a home, family and stability are located, but this was not the case for me. Separated when I was born, my parents never saw eye to eye on many things. They refrained from showing much to me, but I knew I had flaws within my family life. Forced to live with my father at a later age, I found myself at a pause in life. I could not find any consistency in any of my personal relationships; not my parents, friends, or other family members. Because of this, I sought it in anything and everything else.

Although my parents did not agree on much, their values and priorities were the same on each end. Being a Mexican American girl, the separation did not make my home life any easier. My culture helped to impair my family relationships. As Hispanics, work was the precedence in both of their lives, and they expected me to live with the same priority. They focused on the present and how they would be able to provide day-by-day. My father struggled, and being a minority with very little education he was not eligible for many opportunities. These hardships affected my emotional life and my school life as well. My first couple years of high school are blurry memories of who I never wanted to be as a person. No one else cared because no one ever thought my educational success was important. At times, I even undermined the importance of education.

At the end of my sophomore year in high school, I was introduced to someone who did care about my future. He was my first AP History teacher at Eleanor Roosevelt. Toward the end of the year, I established an academic relationship and trust in my teacher. He introduced me to the many opportunities I would have as being an AP student, and most important, he created an inviting environment in his classroom that always made me eager to return. His classroom was my safe-haven, but little did I notice that I started to feel this comfort in the rest of my classrooms. I started to build relationships with my teachers and fellow academic successors. These people enabled me to show my full potential in the classroom. I felt at ease knowing I had complete control in this place because I did not have to change myself and my priorities to fit in. Eventually, Eleanor Roosevelt High School became my home.

Roosevelt's rigorous courses and outstanding staff gave me the essentials I needed to pursue my dreams. Above all, this home has helped me to organize my life priorities. Without this place, I would not be aspiring to attend a four-year college or even law school. This establishment gave me the chance to create key relationships and become the leader I am today. I am thankful that I found refuge at Roosevelt. If not I may have encountered a life of distress and limited opportunities. My parents may not understand what it means to go to college and receive an education to improve my future, but today I realize its importance. My history teachers and fellow AP students welcomed me into this home with open arms, and understood that my educational goals should be the forefront of my life.

Eleanor Roosevelt herself once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." I believe this quote has been heavily appreciated by me and I follow it with pride. At Roosevelt High School, I took a leap of faith into a place where my dreams and aspirations would eventually be shaped and I discovered a new world. I do not have any resentment toward my parents or culture, and I don't take my flaws in my home for granted, I embrace them because I now have a sense of direction in life. I plan to be the best person I can be, and give Roosevelt the most of me until I graduate. The idea of college was never an option at the beginning of my first years of high school, but I am currently so close to reaching my goal in attending a University of California. I've discovered who I am and who I can be, and I thank my obstacles in life for bringing me to Eleanor Roosevelt High School.

-Having some trouble making this essay short and sweet. I don't know how to be conscise. Any tips? Please be brutally honest! Thank you!