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Posts by dwong0
Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Last Post: Nov 28, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

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dwong0   
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Wildlife and animals' - UC Prompt 1 [5]

I have to disagree with you because i think you have a strong conclusion. Your essay is very sentimental and truly shows you have a passion for life. The end really ties together, how your experiences have influenced you and how because you are so passionate you will be able to make a difference. It shows something about you, that you have an earnest desire to help and an earnest passion for everything around us. It is really touching.
dwong0   
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Spaghetti and soy sauce UC prompt #1 [4]

Thank you for the suggestion. There is so much i wanted to write about how it influenced my dreams but i was limited by the word count. I want to say that because i have had such different influences i want to continue to explore the world and that because i have seen through my parents that different cultures can merge i wan't to make it possible for countries to set aside their differences. I want to pursue a career in international relations.

Would this revision of my conclusion make my dreams a little clearer?

I want to continue to travel around the world and gather more puzzle pieces. My continuously changing world has taught me that out there, is a multitude of diverse people, places and experiences waiting to teach me something about life. However I have also learned that although the world is indeed full of differences, it is still one world.

Puzzles usually take time, effort, and sacrifice. Sometimes it might seem like none of the pieces fit, and we leave the puzzle there, unfinished because we cannot see it complete at once. Countries often give up on trying to fit together because of their dissimilarities. It is a hard puzzle, but I am determined to finish it for I know that the hardest puzzles, are the ones that give the greatest satisfaction when completed.
dwong0   
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Spaghetti and soy sauce UC prompt #1 [4]

I know it's a little last moment but i really need an opinion about my essay. I will be majoring in international relations. English isn't my first language so I'll know there will be some problems.

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I have always had a certain affinity towards puzzles; the way every little piece, a piece that is quite useless without the others, fits perfectly together to create something beautiful. The People I've known, places I've been and experiences I've had, have been little fragments piecing together to create the image of my beautiful life.

Ever since I was born, my world has been a plethora of dissimilar experiences and influences. My parent's ministry has relocated our family around the world, exposing me to drastically diverse surroundings. From the deserts of Arizona to the heart of Rome, I have been able to experiment different ways of life and appreciate different aspects of living. Living in the countryside has opened my eyes to the beauty of nature, and allowed me live in an atmosphere of warmth and amiability. By contrast life in one of the most historical cities in the world has been insightful and taught me to admire progress; and now, living in the suburbs of Northern California I am able to learn yet another way of life.

My parents themselves could not be more globally opposites. While my father is the epitome of discipline and obedience, my mother is the embodiment of creativity and spontaneity. It has been fascinating to see the contrast between their cultures. My father's Chinese heritage has embedded in him the importance of perfection and achievement. In contrast, my mother has taught me the importance of living to the fullest, of seizing every opportunity. Growing up in Europe, she has been taught to value every little aspect of life, that the process was more important than the end result. Even more fascinating has been to see the merge of these different ethnicities. To see how two seemingly contradictory values and traditions could fuse together into a single unique lifestyle. While spaghetti and soy sauce may sound like a terrible mix, it is actually delicious and truly one of a kind.

The pieces I have collected from all my experiences and influences though, seem from opposite ends of the puzzle. There is no particular image I could see my puzzle displaying in the end. Because I have never had permanency in my life, it is hard for me to choose my future, give my life a definite direction. I like change. I like variety. I like not having a favorite color or a favorite movie. I like being able to speak multiple languages and play multiple instruments. I like being made of bits of this and that.

My continuously changing world has taught me that although the world is indeed full of differences, it is still one world.
Puzzles usually take time, effort, and sacrifice. Sometimes it might seem like none of the pieces fit, and we leave the puzzle there, unfinished because we cannot see it complete at once. Countries often give up on trying to fit together because of their dissimilarities. It is a hard puzzle, but the hardest puzzles, are the ones that give the greatest satisfaction when completed.
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